tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24481925037702709552024-01-26T02:10:50.189-07:00Joshua 1:9It means no worries. For the rest of your days. It's a problem-free philosophy. Kermithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01245298608185678247noreply@blogger.comBlogger155125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2448192503770270955.post-28650072508832882682018-02-17T05:54:00.001-07:002018-02-17T05:57:52.268-07:00Build Me Up, Buttercup<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">This post is dedicated to the man who has
been my unexpected roommate for a year and half without killing me or finding
himself pushed off the fourth floor balcony he’d so wanted.</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">He is, quite obviously, mad as a bag of
frogs, and quotes William Carlos Williams’ poems when stealing my toilet paper:
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Forgive
me, <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">It
was so papery.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">“D’ya get it?!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do ya, do ya, do ya?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I mean, do ya get it??”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">“You mean you imitating a horrible poet?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You mean that was intentional?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You read poetry?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">read</i>?”<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><br />
<a name='more'></a></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">More a Jedi than a regular Christian, he
gives me terrible advice about relationships and marriage, and argues with me (pointlessly),
even when I have predicted his useless arguments and asked him not to share
them.</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">“I was on the bus...<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Never mind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>You’re going to give me a stupid argument about not having proof,
instead of agreeing with me like a rational person and this is going to go
nowhere.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">“Tell me.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Jesus
wept. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">“...What, you’re not gonna tell me?!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">“Oh, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">God</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Fine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I was on the bus, and the men said that women are the greatest
impediment to family planning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s
stupid.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Go ahead - I know it was killing you to listen this long without
rebuttal.</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">“You can’t say that!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You have no proof!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You @@*&(* in a (!*(&@ with a
(@#&(* hat of @#(*$* on a !@##* stick - you should have been drowned at
birth.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i>[Note:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He didn’t actually say this, but he wanted
to.]</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">You know he’s serious when he makes a claw-hand
and gestures frenetically to facilitate the transfer of his ideas, or perhaps
just terrify naysayers with his T-Rex impression.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">“The proof is <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">human physiology</i>, you ass--inine fool.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">15
minutes of two people pretending to have a polite conversation in which they
have no vested interest in winning and grinding the other to pulverised dust
later<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">“I mean, I agree with you – I’m just
saying you have no proof.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is not an
empirical study, it wouldn’t hold up in a university.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I stared up at him from the garish orange
couch matching the circle of hell to which it takes its clientele, in a city in
the eastern Congo with one main road that is more pothole than asphalt, after
having explained my understanding of a Swahili conversation in a 16-seat bus
containing 22 people from a village an hour away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">You’re
right.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have not conducted an empirical
study to verify the wild hypothesis that – as a male’s contribution to the
birth of an infant is sperm, and a female’s is the conversion of her body into
a bouncy castle for nine months – a woman is more likely to want to plan her
pregnancies.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I appreciate that he cooks well, shares
pizza, attempts to keep our communal spaces clean, washes dishes, and opens
jars – he is like a multi-purpose kitchen unit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Bonus features are filling water in various containers when possible, allowing
me to shower first, disposing of rat corpses, not recognising that I am female,
and informing me that he is a man (except one occasion when he insisted he was
an independent woman and could carry his own bucket).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Repeatedly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">No, you don’t understand – <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">repeatedly</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">These invaluable services render him the
real MVP, as we have lived in a culture where I am expected to cook and clean
for men and bear their largely unwanted commentary on my hair, my weight, my
clothes, and the chances of my giving them a dowry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I accept the radio programmes he rarely
understands played at full volume and continuous verbal diarrhea as bearable
side effects.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">“So you’re makin’ rice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just boilin’ some rice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Rice party.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">“Eatin’ another egg for dinner.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Like you always do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Gosh, ya really love eggs, don’t ya.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">“Are you waiting for the power?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Like you do every night?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Can you make the power come on?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Can you be less sad?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">“Are those two buckets of water for
you?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Really?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But you usually have one for me!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It is for me?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I thought you
said they were both for you!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You’re
confusing me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Bucket.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Forget it; I don’t want to take a shower.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">“You eatin’ a banana?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ya like that banana?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now you’re throwin’ away the peel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You look angry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Are you angry?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why are you angry?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You’re always so angry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Why are
you always so (#&$(* angry.</i>”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I will remember the way he sneezes
(because these, aside from his worthless arguments, are his only forms of real communication).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Disdaining allergy medication, he instead prefers
to stew his sinuses in pestilence and dust – with pestilential tea to aid him
in this process, though he has preferred to use it as psychological terrorism
after advising The Phoenix to create gallons of it to clutter up my
kitchen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can now hear the nuances in
his trumpeting into a wad of toilet paper (<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">100%
recycled cacti!</i>) indicating: <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 36.0pt; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I’m hungry<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 36.0pt; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I’ve soiled myself<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 36.0pt; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I’ve fractured my rib<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 36.0pt; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">It’s morning!<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 36.0pt; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I am about to give you the bubonic plague and cholera
– feel free to bask in my feverish glow<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">That last was a relatively new addition
that I didn’t recognise until I was in a village-shaped collection of mud an
hour away from the city, trying to keep my brain from fleeing through my
eyeballs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I came back home two days
later, mostly recovered, to find him with a tissue stuffed up his nose pretending
to care about Joan of Arc, when all he was thinking was likely, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">But no one had any proof, I mean, really,
this is all just so confrontational...<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Upon our meeting, sparks and bacteria
flew and I developed a cough that would send me into agonised spasms every time
I laughed, which <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">proves </i>that he hates
me to be happy in any way, shape, or form.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We shared in this Angry Old Man-itis until he casually mentioned that he
also had a stomach bug. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">“Oh, I’m fine – it’s just this terrible cough.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Famous last words, I realised, as I lay sideways
on my bed at midnight, alternating between arching and curling like a birthday
whistle from the 90s – moaning in tongues amidst the mess I’d made of my room digging
for Tums on my hands and knees while trying to remember a reason to live anyway.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’d promised myself that I’d call Grandpa to
take me to the hospital and text Joseph before I died, but the trouble was that
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">it was just so hard to tell</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">In the hope of gaining sympathy, I tried
to explain my near-death experience the next morning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
</span></div>
<div style="height: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
“Yeah, my shoulders hurt.”<br />x</span></div>
<br />
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I stared at him. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">“Very badly,” he assured me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">The little trooper then played a rousing
game of Frisbee after which he came home looking like the ghost of a virgin
murdered on her wedding day – I hadn’t seen so much white since leaving
Canada.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">“But exercise is good for you!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">“Yeah, but not that much when you’re
still sick.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">“But exercise is good for you!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">“It is!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We’re just differing in terms of degrees <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">when you’re sick</i>!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">“Are you saying exercise is <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">not </i>good for you?!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">The next morning, he confronted me, as
feverish as a red, red rose and deliriously blithering that being the centre of
attention was no big deal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Not
all of us are young white American males – some of us are shy Indian women with
fragile constitutions and a powerful urge to set you on fire.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">The best part about him is that he tries
to understand the differences between us sometimes, though with a poor rate of
success – such as when he held up an ice cream party for me – and tells <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">me</i> to do<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> me</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">And that is what I take from this insightful
white American male with a passion for languages and a thirst to discover how
and why the world works the way it does and how we could make it better: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You
do you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">That, an addiction to various American
serials, and The Beatles.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Although if I
hear one more time that I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">gotta listen to
the Magical Mystery Tour ‘cause it’s comin’ to take you away</i>, none of this
will have been worth it.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Thanks, man – our matching outfits
connect us across the globe and attest to the fact that, while we rarely
understood each other, we tried.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">And we made it. </span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqmu9l8hnrkp5LfgTQE3ODAzx1ckLmbpmnScjZbTH6bsmOFf9kYlCZYcvki4NHJPSDdJqN98K36rZmDObSSL8fXoS8I7hAmrJc2ItPgUCAcqBK1-lMVq2GjO2HgiM6-BES997LT9pxljw/s1600/28053676_889783121901_1479240870_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="720" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqmu9l8hnrkp5LfgTQE3ODAzx1ckLmbpmnScjZbTH6bsmOFf9kYlCZYcvki4NHJPSDdJqN98K36rZmDObSSL8fXoS8I7hAmrJc2ItPgUCAcqBK1-lMVq2GjO2HgiM6-BES997LT9pxljw/s320/28053676_889783121901_1479240870_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We have matching outfits (thanks to a friend), <br />
but he didn't wanna</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
Kermithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01245298608185678247noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2448192503770270955.post-1167247561683345062018-01-31T05:20:00.001-07:002018-01-31T05:20:19.714-07:00Uphill Both Ways<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">One small positive in
dating a local (other than <a href="http://josh1-9-hakunamatata.blogspot.com/2016/12/was-this-stupid-blister.html" target="_blank">having a souvenir</a>) is that he unwittingly shares common
cultural practices and colloquialisms for me to dissect.</span></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Like the harvest song that
the beneficiaries of his project sang to work late one evening – about striking
the ground as though each blow was killing someone from a neighbouring
tribe. Most of my colleagues are from
this tribe, and I’d heard stories of how, during one of the many wars that have
plagued this nation, they had created artificial borders in order to catch (no
release that hunting season) those not from their tribe by checking the
pronunciation of a certain greeting. At
that time, I’d decided that this tribe was quite obviously stark, raving
mad. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Now I see that their foray
into early immigration policies was possibly justified. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></span></div>
<a name='more'></a><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: inherit;">This story repeats itself
multiple times with different players:</span><br />
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 36.0pt; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #333333;">-<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><i><span style="color: #333333;">Maashi</span></i><span style="color: #333333;"> vs. <i>Babembe</i><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 36.0pt; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #333333;">-<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><i><span style="color: #333333;">Nande </span></i><span style="color: #333333;">vs. <i>Hutu</i><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; margin-left: 36.0pt; margin-right: 0cm; margin-top: 0cm; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #333333;">-<span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><i><span style="color: #333333;">Banyamulenge </span></i><span style="color: #333333;">vs. everyone else<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I’ve further learned that
locals apparently believe Europe is everything not-Africa and not-‘the West.’ Thus, Europe includes Australia. So when I was part of a mental health training
session where everything from mass shooting to euthanasia seemed to come from ‘Europe,’
which I clearly represented, I tried to stay calm. <i>Yeah,
well, at least we don’t rape without compunction, or note ‘embezzlement’ as a
job task, or kill people routinely due to the shapes of their noses, or... </i>I continued until I realised I was
expounding on the theme that my culture’s method of destruction was much more
civilised than another. <i> </i><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">“If divorce comes from the
West,”<i> </i>I tried to explain rationally,
“so did the emancipation of women – our ability to be economically independent
and our right to be safe from abuse at the hands of our fathers and husbands.” <i>Does
that mean good ideas came from Europe too?
Freedom? Peace? All from Europe, d’you think?</i><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Indians tend to follow this
fatally derailed train of thought as well:
Everything degenerate came from the West!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<i><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Yes, because burning a widow on the funeral pyre of her husband
was brilliantly enlightened – pun fully intended – thank you. <o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">No culture is perfect. Quite frankly, we’re all bat-guano cray-cray,
and the worst thing is that we’re proud of it.
I have a friend in the fashion and journalism industry who is of Asian
descent, does not like being asked where he’s from, sometimes sports ice-blond
hair, talks often about his ‘spirit animal,’ and bemoans a white girl ‘misappropriating’
a <i>hanbok</i>. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">We’re so blindly unreasonable
in our judgements of right and wrong <i>without
being willing to do anything about them.
</i>So I listened to doctors and nurses at the end of a mud road in
Central Africa note that ‘Europeans’ are savagely individualistic, uncaring
swine, and Indians are quite hopelessly backward for their beliefs in a
pantheon of gods. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #45818e; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b>“If I marry in India, they’ll give <i>me</i> a dowry?! We should start
a campaign!!” </b></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="color: #45818e; font-size: large;">- Father of 10,
grandfather of 16</span></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">When yoga, named as a form of exercise
and relaxation, was also identified as coming from Europe, I’d had enough. “Actually, yoga originated in India.” When all eyes turned to me for a
demonstration, I continued, “Indian Christians generally do not practice it
because it was intended as a form of worship.”<i><o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Which was when the entire room realised I
wasn’t Muslim and blessed me in the name of the Lord. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I gave up. I’d been violently feverish most of the
weekend, had only been partially lucid for most of the day – for example, when
we had an apparently serious discussion on the chances and consequences of an
epileptic fit during sex – and had realised that being the only woman and
foreigner in the room was not ideal. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Settling our bill at the local hotel was
another adventure as I was apparently the only one who wanted an official, completed
receipt for the nights I stayed there.
The manager calmly offered us all completed receipts even in the face of
incredible pressure, so I shook him warmly by the hand and congratulated him on
his principles before scampering out behind my frustrated friends. Once outside, I held out my hand and received
an empty receipt that one of them had threatened from one of the workers in the
office. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I carefully folded the slip of paper into
my pocket, blaming my tight throat on my recent illness. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Finally on the long, long way home, using
public transport that took one hour to make absolutely certain that it was
impossible to fit more than 22 people in a 16-seat bus, at 4:30pm on Sunday
evening, I started a war of the sexes on the bus. My session co-facilitators seemed somehow
convinced that women were the greatest obstacle to adequate family
planning. One of them cited a BBC
article in which a group of Rwandan men were apparently lobbying to sterilize themselves
because the women around them were incapable of understanding that ejecting a
3-4kg human through their vaginas every year from the age of 18-65 was infeasible. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">Right. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">While I have no doubt that there are many
African men who would be willing to follow principles of family planning for
the health of their wives and the success of their children, the notion that the
majority of African women are so pious that they cite the Bible while pulling
their husbands to bed after a day-long struggle for food and water, all while
breastfeeding two toddlers seems… unlikely.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">One gloriously forthright woman took up
my banner and said that men were the problem, citing her own example. Neither of us denied that most women wanted
children, but my understanding was that local women were generally content with
5-6 spaced over a longer period. The men
whom I’d questioned, on the other hand, had humbly stated that they would
accept as many children as God gave them – which, as far as I can gauge, means 8-12
living offspring. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Though I cannot fault this Christ-like
obedience, I wonder if their opinion would change if their bodies were affected
at all by pregnancy and labour. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">This resulted in a spirited conversation
that took over the whole bus, with the single women and the men on one side,
and the married women and me on the other.
During this trip, it was decided by the men that ‘European’ women didn’t
want children. This came from yet
another state-employed official who usually tries to convince me that foreign
donors are stingy and should budget a regular salary for his fellow citizens (from
the health care professionals to the community leaders) for the hard work of
accepting training in identifying mental illness and offering trauma healing
for their own population. In addition to
increasing the amount they pay him to teach.
Oh, and perhaps also a little something for the poor villagers who come
for individual counselling, group therapy, to learn about sex- and gender-based
violence, etc. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">As I usually bite my tongue in order to
keep from throttling him with it, I also ignored this straw man in the face of
the bigger battle – that we all have preconceived notions that take courage to
face and change. </span></div>
<br />
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">And I wondered how long this journey would
take. </span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
Kermithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01245298608185678247noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2448192503770270955.post-70591105766561611232018-01-17T06:04:00.001-07:002018-01-19T00:37:36.063-07:00Bliss – Part II<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #333333;">Thankfully, I had some time
away from Congo to reflect on my impending final departure when our team
visited Uganda for a week-long peacebuilding conference.</span><span style="color: #333333;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I cannot adequately explain
the magnitude of this gathering – if the leaders present live with a portion of
the faith they professed in the time we shared together, the Great Lakes region
cannot help but change. I have, however,
been burned in the past by people who say one thing in a spiritual setting, but
prefer to speak ‘practically’ at other times.
To me, faith <i>is </i>practice. Only faith can allow a mother, when lobbying
for the return of a group of children from the Lord’s Resistance Army, <a href="https://spotlightenglish.com/listen/angelina-atyam-the-forgiveness-of-a-mother" target="_blank">to refuse the return of her daughter because it meant that other parents like her would have to continue to suffer</a>. Only faith would encourage a leader in a
Kenyan university to return to Congo (with his wife – also now a PhD-holder –
and their children) to <a href="https://www.ucbc.org/about/" target="_blank">begin a Christian university in an area wheremass killings are routine</a>. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">The milk of human kindness
sours quickly – it offers aid as long as there is no personal cost. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Love suffers, weeps, and
dies <i>personally</i> to give life to
others. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></span></span><br />
<a name='more'></a></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDGAe7ifnEHQ6yRwAAGZfUCPe6jcS8sVjdjoYhKihTGCmqlXgNh5Rtoart02wZ_CeLw_G550gsFuNrW-tufWuuGekNOsqDhmPVf0jdobZm-COb1wGz390lUacRdZM6sJzRwX4fgTC4w1c/s1600/CIMG4689.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDGAe7ifnEHQ6yRwAAGZfUCPe6jcS8sVjdjoYhKihTGCmqlXgNh5Rtoart02wZ_CeLw_G550gsFuNrW-tufWuuGekNOsqDhmPVf0jdobZm-COb1wGz390lUacRdZM6sJzRwX4fgTC4w1c/s200/CIMG4689.JPG" width="200" /></span></a><span style="color: #333333; font-family: inherit;">These are convictions that
cannot be controlled by society or changed by passing conversations. This is a vision of a kingdom of a
Priest-King, where we are in perfect relationship with each other and with our
Creator. Only a few live it in a few
ways now, but we try to live and work in faith that it will come.</span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXXj3mcwKPMlc2bySnUapNWkf6d0ppevfHG6Sj3t-Sggo9rj3NCnCYxwDXYxnPOSTKDtVUzuanGBtkuMlyvfR_fqqYMo2HjS5kTUjqlj3IV0MLPCD2PGERaKzndPG-6zeXakQyt-UtxtE/s1600/CIMG4717.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXXj3mcwKPMlc2bySnUapNWkf6d0ppevfHG6Sj3t-Sggo9rj3NCnCYxwDXYxnPOSTKDtVUzuanGBtkuMlyvfR_fqqYMo2HjS5kTUjqlj3IV0MLPCD2PGERaKzndPG-6zeXakQyt-UtxtE/s200/CIMG4717.JPG" width="200" /></span></a><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">The above stories were set
to the inspiration of the Ugandan martyrs – credited with the spread of
Christianity in the country. Of course,
this sacrificial love is commemorated by (separate) Catholic and Protestant
churches in different ways. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
</span><br />
<div class="story-body-text" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin: 0cm;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdsd0xxSurSOR8HYMbtmaVp4bb-l-z-RCZegiHMoeKin4VeBq3uOsykCMao7T8e995EurW25QKM3bcuCo955PtAAmra7idmeddhJG8u9q8JaPbHcksRrTm19AbvQrG5XAGyN_nkVCL9Do/s1600/CIMG4692.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdsd0xxSurSOR8HYMbtmaVp4bb-l-z-RCZegiHMoeKin4VeBq3uOsykCMao7T8e995EurW25QKM3bcuCo955PtAAmra7idmeddhJG8u9q8JaPbHcksRrTm19AbvQrG5XAGyN_nkVCL9Do/s200/CIMG4692.JPG" width="200" /></span></a><span style="color: #333333; font-family: inherit;">I cannot deny that it was powerful to hear the story of how these men (some as young as 14 years old) were dragged on their backs to face weeks of torture before finally being burned to death rather than renouncing their faith in a Christian God for their earthly king (I’d like to add that this king’s sister, not recognised as a saint, was also murdered in the palace for her faith). However, I will never be comfortable with the veneration of places, water, and people who – in the end – were only pointing to the God Most High. Jesus himself said that his family were those who did the will of God, and that those people would all be blessed. I’m not sure how many realise that we are meant to be in that number and whether we would be so ready to accept Christianity with his example of crucifixion (toward the goal of resurrection life) in mind. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin: 0cm;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLtrm7X6rd8YFiYXwQJ5RAmEZXft9WCJ3rO8yeVV1Qy0ICmKtMx2knJjVaA3v1Q5PdC_Zmzo8zYDbSmCFv-hpmYiSoJhAgLMg-f1hTMy2W-zUbe-hi8ymTLcpuYX6bwF8UKCs8r3Lna9Y/s1600/CIMG4696.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLtrm7X6rd8YFiYXwQJ5RAmEZXft9WCJ3rO8yeVV1Qy0ICmKtMx2knJjVaA3v1Q5PdC_Zmzo8zYDbSmCFv-hpmYiSoJhAgLMg-f1hTMy2W-zUbe-hi8ymTLcpuYX6bwF8UKCs8r3Lna9Y/s200/CIMG4696.JPG" width="200" /></span></a><span style="color: #333333; font-family: inherit;">So when people climbed down to collect water from a rather mucky cistern wherein the torturers were said to have washed themselves and their weapons of the blood of the martyrs, I was… apathetic. If I wasn’t ready to die for my God based on the example of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego (and I wouldn’t be willing to say I was until actually faced with this choice), possible traces of gore from my Ugandan brethren probably wouldn’t tip the scales. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin: 0cm;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPq1HOklbwEmCwNjR-TyIRZ5t1I8PexZKcCh67oRRme6cyaKUlgF3j50CW8IIe_ieo9iMRV5veNmEyfoiej9jcAS8PjxJ8g4FP_-ainUjdPGcIoicHEp7urkTiM58OIrZHWkh3kqzWf4s/s1600/CIMG4693.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPq1HOklbwEmCwNjR-TyIRZ5t1I8PexZKcCh67oRRme6cyaKUlgF3j50CW8IIe_ieo9iMRV5veNmEyfoiej9jcAS8PjxJ8g4FP_-ainUjdPGcIoicHEp7urkTiM58OIrZHWkh3kqzWf4s/s200/CIMG4693.JPG" width="200" /></span></a><span style="color: #333333; font-family: inherit;">After hearing of the money and effort put into building the Protestant church there, just a short distance from the Catholic church that was also a memorial, I cynically wondered whether the torturers had rinsed their handkerchiefs into another nearby spring, or whether the burned Catholic bones were more comfortable in their cathedral. While I certainly believe that the stories of the saints should be commemorated in order to inspire us in our personal relationships with God, I find it hard to believe that miracles, as one Catholic nun from our group said, are more likely to occur when asked of God on the site where the martyrs died. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin: 0cm;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjr_pSGmVfnfj8bxns-fqFUQN_vSrBhiWWbdlnp_2slZqMwZgSL4OOHDb4rmcc0q2R6a9-9vXMImY6aJHCtc7IkVrBNYQW0qZMVzZ85oIBLR04fjSpWY-GS_1MP7a5jRfElM0uCmBgo1q0/s1600/CIMG4695.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjr_pSGmVfnfj8bxns-fqFUQN_vSrBhiWWbdlnp_2slZqMwZgSL4OOHDb4rmcc0q2R6a9-9vXMImY6aJHCtc7IkVrBNYQW0qZMVzZ85oIBLR04fjSpWY-GS_1MP7a5jRfElM0uCmBgo1q0/s200/CIMG4695.JPG" width="200" /></span></a><span style="color: #333333; font-family: inherit;">More practically, I had wonderful conversations throughout the week with South Sudanese Anglican reverends, a Rwandan romantic, inspired worship leaders, and many others who seem committed to bringing principles of restorative justice, peaceful existence with multi-faith communities, and community health into their daily lives in African contexts. I was surrounded by a few MDiv students from Duke University and other intelligent professionals who teased that they could tell a Sudanese person by his colour and a Rwandan by their yard-long names. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin: 0cm;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-LDfj-dOJpsKU6UgeOOl29JUkm6Pli51BWU1B_MxwF6Y_xjsFXa_MEwL_drOvB2c5Pac7WrULAmCmtkjxINhVEGUquM0v0ajUWO_61u_wAlLG_OAOBoIdj0neAOR_l8so-k7VcSB9fWU/s1600/CIMG4706.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-LDfj-dOJpsKU6UgeOOl29JUkm6Pli51BWU1B_MxwF6Y_xjsFXa_MEwL_drOvB2c5Pac7WrULAmCmtkjxINhVEGUquM0v0ajUWO_61u_wAlLG_OAOBoIdj0neAOR_l8so-k7VcSB9fWU/s200/CIMG4706.JPG" width="200" /></span></a><span style="color: #333333; font-family: inherit;">As an exception to the rule, I walked into a bathroom stall occupied by a poor unfortunate who hadn’t worked out how locks in public bathrooms work. Sorry, White American – thank you for trying to make me feel less awkward by reminding and forgiving me of the incident again at lunchtime. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: inherit;">I was joined in my Corner O’Shame by a friendly, older Ugandan man who tried to make conversation after breaktime one day…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin: 0cm;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFnh_bMD2JAV9hfeiU0J_z0rjg4zPyw0VB2NHJcsK4T3Zw40zR7QzUqIX_PEYXlAGW5xHvxsDtzQtu7mmy1Vh8yMMgGxqRMjKNsbM21jtb7yiphgXg4Vpuks7ltADHZDFcag2RosPsOik/s1600/CIMG4700.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFnh_bMD2JAV9hfeiU0J_z0rjg4zPyw0VB2NHJcsK4T3Zw40zR7QzUqIX_PEYXlAGW5xHvxsDtzQtu7mmy1Vh8yMMgGxqRMjKNsbM21jtb7yiphgXg4Vpuks7ltADHZDFcag2RosPsOik/s200/CIMG4700.JPG" width="200" /></span></a><span style="color: #333333; font-family: inherit;">“You know, they told us during the devotional that pastors should not meet alone with beautiful women. In that case, you should never meet with a pastor alone because--”</span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: black; margin: 0cm;">
</div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; color: black; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0cm; text-align: left; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipG4HaQNRGvI5zYkm4wbe15KIr2leFsZ1PLm3uOvqK6PEV6xlMXGly8vlYoJwtH-WweWX4hKbRGpJRWA4w_mzNAzbmUfkWbODsYeTNajcSh8BTSDHfgPHUwXC5_swmFfH_PmWin0NIEWU/s1600/CIMG4707.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipG4HaQNRGvI5zYkm4wbe15KIr2leFsZ1PLm3uOvqK6PEV6xlMXGly8vlYoJwtH-WweWX4hKbRGpJRWA4w_mzNAzbmUfkWbODsYeTNajcSh8BTSDHfgPHUwXC5_swmFfH_PmWin0NIEWU/s200/CIMG4707.JPG" width="200" /></span></a><span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">“Actually, that was an error by the French translator – the original English speaker never said anything about ‘beautiful’ women, he just said that pastors shouldn’t put themselves in a situation where--”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: inherit;">It was at this point that I realised he’d just been trying to pay me a compliment. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">“--Oh, I see,” I called down from my soapbox. “You were just trying to-- Right.” <i>Sorry for making this all awkward.</i></span></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin: 0cm;">
<i><span style="color: #333333; font-family: inherit;">But wait, that was done when you managed to suggest both that beautiful women are more prone to being sexually abused (the silly girls!) and that I, myself, was somehow more likely to be sexually abused! <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin: 0cm;">
<i><span style="color: #333333; font-family: inherit;">Thank you?</span></i></div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: inherit;">I came home after 16 hours
on two buses over the space of two days and two countries with an eye infection
and fever a week in the making. I am
unsure as to why I, a person who hates personal attention, can now be voted Drama
Queen for the second year in a row, but such is my life. Now I face less than a month in Congo to get
my stress and various infections under control and say my goodbyes in a
sincere, joyful way rather than taking my usual route of offering sweets and
then disappearing. </span><br />
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I surprised a rat calmly sitting
on our closed garbage can likely in contemplation of this very same issue: <i>Why me?</i></span></span></div>
</div>
Kermithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01245298608185678247noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2448192503770270955.post-6204619460019867022018-01-17T05:53:00.000-07:002018-01-19T01:18:22.409-07:00Bliss – Part I<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #333333;">I’ll try to make this as
concise as I can – partially because I’m </span><i style="color: #333333;">weeks
</i><span style="color: #333333;">behind, but mostly because I’ve forgotten nearly everything.</span></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Christmas break was a
wonderful affair, beginning with a ground-shaking concert at our church, led by
our incredibly talented band - which includes Joseph. As usual, we had a late start; as I was silently
kicking myself and Timbit for having arrived on time, our worship leader appeared
beside my chair to wish me a merry Christmas and smile and not go away. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></span><br />
<a name='more'></a></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: inherit;">I stared at him. </span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">“Where is [Joseph]?” he
asked behind what I could now identify as a slightly crazed smile. “We’re just waiting for him!”<br />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br />
<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I was caught between
offense (<i>It’s not as if I keep him in my
handbag for emergencies, you know.</i>) and horror (<b>My</b><i> boyfriend</i> – <b>late</b><i>??</i>). Horror won - as I scrabbled for my phone, I
tried to ease the tension: “Maybe he’s
with his other girlfriend!”<br />
<br />
It was our worship leader’s turn to stare at me in horror - thankfully, Joseph
walked in just then, fifteen minutes late, smiling, and blissfully unaware of
the lecture he was soon to receive on the importance of punctuality. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Christmas itself involved a
glorious morning of watching a children’s Christmas concert while gently
rocking a sleeping toddler I’d lured into my lap with candy. Then we met up as various families at Grandma
and Grandpa’s, where I believe Joseph and I made our official debut as a couple
to my side of the family (and there was almost no one to see but family – just the
way I like it). After a quick stop at a
bakery (where the cashier demanded that I give her something more than
Christmas wishes and then proceeded to cheat me of my correct change – Merry Christmas,
Congo!), we had a second lunch with Joseph’s family – this is totally
comfortable for me and doesn’t at all make my heart shrivel and die at the
thought of the fallout if Joseph and I break up. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Despite my fears of a
doomsday when Joseph and I may foreseeably break up due to differences in financial
and time management, personality, interests, passports, taste in food, etc., I
do respect him and think he is a generally very sweet person. However, not enough to have sex with him at
all odd hours as the downstairs housemaids seem to believe. After returning from a spectacular 4-day trip
to Bujumbura with him (during which, as I assured Carrottop, we did not have
sex), one of the maids confronted me. As
she is older in age, newer in position, and mainly Swahili-speaking by nature,
my understanding of the following conversation was deeply hampered by
incomprehension and shame.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">“[Butters] is not
there! Your boyfriend left at 8pm! He should leave by 6pm! Boys<i>Swahiliadinfinitum.</i>”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Actually, he’d left at
10pm. And while it was true that Butters was away on vacation, I wasn’t sure his presence would have had the effect she desired – he'd have been more than happy to shower us with
contraceptives if we'd asked. Finally, I’m no
expert, but I was fairly sure it was possible to have sex even before 6pm. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I’ve tried to be fairly
open about my no-sex-before-marriage policy (admittedly not with our landlord’s
housemaids), but may have been marginally quieter about my no-kissing-before-marriage
policy (because I think it would finally drive Butters, an undeniably patient
soul with very little experience with… me, to murder). Perhaps it would be better called a hugs-only
policy. First base is a hug. Second base is a longer hug. Third and fourth bases are telling my mom that
things are getting serious before the guilt becomes overwhelming. As you can see, this has no basis whatsoever on whether
my roommates are present or the time of day – I basically rely on
self-assurance and trust in the man I’ve chosen to be alone with (sometimes
even when the sun has set). Because I don’t
really know what I’m missing, I’m perfectly blissful in this ignorance until I’m
married or until I die of a peanut butter overdose. This is one of those inner convictions that (contrary
to what many traditional cultures seem to think) cannot be controlled by
curfews or changed by confessions of eternal love - if I wanted to have sex,
nothing would stop me; my faith tells me that having sex with a man without the
vows of marriage denies our intrinsic value and that of our Creator. This knowledge gives me the strength to face
the question of whether we’ve visited ‘the Netherlands.’ <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Another reason to avoid
relationships is just to avoid the sheer shame of it all (but then I also would
have so many opportunities for uncontrollable laughter). <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Even leaving aside the question
of sex, the pressure on our relationship in general is overwhelming. Most locals who have seen or heard of us are certain (and usually willing to share) that we will either break up or that I’ll be impregnated before I
leave to ensure that I will come back. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">That’s a good, solid level
of trust to have in an international missionary at the end of her contract and
a worship leader – the very fact that both these terms mean nothing is a sad
commentary on the church and the life of the body of Christ. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Captain has been asked
whether Joseph and I are serious by a man <i>who
wouldn’t be able to do a doggone thing about it if we weren’t. </i>BFG, whom I would have thought to be more
distanced, leaned across an entire couch to ask me avidly if Joseph and I had
made any decisions about our relationship during our time in Bujumbura (we had –
just likely different ones). I think I
must be the problem in all this – people think either that I am a wayward <i>mzungu </i>leading one of their precious
lambs astray or that I must have conceded to date Joseph only as a prelude to
(a very quick) marriage. Both of these
are wrong – I date with the knowledge that I’m doing nothing to violate the
sanctity of marriage, and that I am perfectly free to break up if I don’t feel
that God intends for us to be together.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Carrottop, whose opinion I
most value as it is basically my own if I’d been raised as a normal person,
gives me dire warnings about husbands in general with a minor in men from
traditional cultures. The joke’s on her –
having grown up with the firm belief that men are generally stupid and more
specifically toxic if unable to love their families as God intended, I am well
aware of the error I’m committing. Now
if someone could just tell Joseph and my heart… </span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="http://josh1-9-hakunamatata.blogspot.com/2018/01/bliss-part-ii.html" target="_blank"><br /></a></span></span></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<a href="http://josh1-9-hakunamatata.blogspot.com/2018/01/bliss-part-ii.html" target="_blank"><br /></a></div>
<div class="story-body-text" style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<a href="http://josh1-9-hakunamatata.blogspot.com/2018/01/bliss-part-ii.html" target="_blank">Part II</a></div>
</div>
Kermithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01245298608185678247noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2448192503770270955.post-5654014032558640692017-12-10T06:21:00.001-07:002017-12-11T01:57:07.696-07:00Loving the Players<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">The landlord’s
housemaids are gradually becoming more loving.
And thus more terrifying. I try
to creep up the four flights of stairs to our apartment without breathing, but
am inevitably caught by my name screamed in varying tones of ecstasy, depending
on what I’m wearing, if my hair is down, or if I’m carrying groceries.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">The most recent
order of business is English (though I’ve also been graciously offered the
chance to do primary school maths and technology homework); one day the
youngest maid asked me in careful English what my name was. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">First of all, they
have never really understood my name (like half the population here) and offer
me vague semblances to which I deign to respond because the alternative is
to... talk to them. Furthermore, I
generally dislike my name, but in French, it is unutterably worse – the harsh
‘r’ forever sounds as if people are angry with me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">“[Kerrrrrmit]!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">“I didn’t do it,
I swear! Please don’t write an Incident Report!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></div>
<a name='more'></a><span style="font-family: inherit;">In light of
this, my name with the rolled ‘r’ of a North American accent was cause for
unutterable hilarity.</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">The follow-up was
learning </span><i style="font-family: inherit;">Irene </i><span style="font-family: inherit;">and </span><i style="font-family: inherit;">Charlene ‘</i><span style="font-family: inherit;">in English’ – which apparently
means sounding like you’re on your first spring break in Mexico with your new
best friends Tequila and Mimosa.</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I have no idea when
or why I became our apartment’s mascot – I am clearly the eldest, most
dignified, and overall best of our herd.
Okay, so Butters was recently part of a star-studded concert (I use this
term loosely – it was almost two hours late, the instruments and mics were in
various states of flagrant civil disobedience, and one of the acts was a withering
sermon), but I still think I’m better, so this behaviour is completely
inexplicable and horrible. Made more so
by the fact that the landlord’s stunning children run out to hug me sometimes
and my uterus takes the opportunity to murmur <i>All this could be yours if you just give up your right to freedom,
privacy, and laughing/sneezing too hard. <o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">There must be a
helpline for this sort of monthly physical and psychological abuse. 1-800-UTRS-R-US? UTRI-WHY?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">In reality, our
landlord’s wife resembles a hovercraft, and shows no sign of stopping (I
wouldn’t either, if I could make such beautiful babies), so I’m sure I could
snatch the smallest and check him as a carry-on in my flight home in a few
months. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Homebound plans
are further complicated by the fact that Joseph has recently bought a gas
stove, which I think is sort of a marriage proposal in Africa. Luckily, I am able to do a zig-zag manoeuvre
with my emotions and actions that keeps him constantly guessing as to whether I
want to propose or roast him on his new stove, so we’re safe for now. And kept safer by the fact that the
downstairs housemaids keep track of our <s> prison visits </s> relationship with a microscope. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">“You’re coming
downstairs with your honey,” one observed one night, as the two others and the
landlord’s eldest daughter watched and listened in unswerving fascination. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">“Your honey’s name
is [Joseph],” the narrator
continued. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">My honey has a head with two ears on it.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">He thinks it’s
cute that they love me, which proves the extent of his madness; he’s never come
home to find the eldest maid in war paint.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I tried to keep
my voice and face neutral in order to keep her from a berserker rage. “So.
Where have <i>you </i>been.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">The maid smiled
coyly. “The market.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">With enough face
powder to render a beautiful, dimpled brown face grey and fill out naturally
thin eyebrows into Arabic swears on her forehead? A likely story. I knew this day would come from the minute
they imitated my walk with much hip-swaying.
I am torn between letting her explore her individuality and giving her
the talk about the birds and the bees and how hard it must be to eject a 6-lb
human from your body after 9 months of not being able to sleep on your
tummy. It’s a good thing I held off on
the lecture – I did see her at the market another day (when she ran screaming
my name for five minutes to catch up with me as the other vendors looked on in
joy – until this time, they had only been able to shriek <i>Mzungu, MZUNGU!</i> Every time I walked by for the past two years). <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Other
apartment-dwellers nearby have also taken up this rallying cry around me – one
girl, who believes herself to have secured a place in the deepest corner of my
heart due to my refusal to do her English homework one day, recently asked me
to take her back to my place. Due to the
vagaries of French, I have no idea if she meant to Canada, India, or our
apartment. The answer would be the same
for all three, but I’d like to evaluate the severity of her mental illness
before voicing it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Speaking of
mental illness, my team has adapted remarkably well to mine! It was recently my birthday – 29 years young,
as my mother somewhat pityingly reminded me – and, like every year, I wanted to
bury it completely from existence. Don’t
get me wrong; I shared cake with my coworkers and friends (ostensibly for
Christmas), I have no problem with my age, and I actively demand that my close
friends and family adore me as is my due, but a generic <i>hbd</i> on Facebook is soul-crushing, and near-strangers accosting me and
pretending they care is even more <i>personally
</i>soul-crushing. Luckily, my team
stumbled upon the best way to get around all of these irrational phobias –
hijack the welcome dinner of our country coordinator, celebrate on a day that
is not<i> </i>actually my birthday, and
sedate me with enough peanut butter to choke a squirrel. Unfortunately, I initially thought Carrottop was
just having a seizure in the kitchen before dinner. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">My eyes
travelled from her face, which appeared to be caving in on itself, to the hands
held protectively in front of her slim form, to the glazed eyes determinedly
staring at the freezer door in front of her nose.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>She’s in labour and doesn’t want to tell anyone. Her appendix burst... three days ago and she
didn’t tell anyone. Her 3-sizes too big
introvert heart is suffering from too many people but she won’t tell anyone.</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Just before
screaming for BFG to come and control his wayward Ironman wife, I glanced at the
top of the fridge, where there was a cake.
It was at this point that I was ordered out of the kitchen before I
spoiled the surprise of the peanut butter icing. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">This was like
closing the barn door after the glue had been shipped worldwide, but I am
nothing if not obedient, especially in the face of imminent peanut butter. <i><o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">The second party was a
little more anonymous in that barely anyone knew me, much less that it was actually
my birthday. However, in true Congolese fashion,
the Christmas lunch was turned into a state-level event complete with formal
speeches about the joy of life, being together, and descendents (this last came
from Joseph as I proceeded to choke slightly and he blissfully ignored me with
the ease of five months of practice). I
was fairly sure Joseph’s choir leadership team had chosen the local Indian
restaurant out of respect for their dearly beloved coach’s ‘white’ girlfriend,
so I had a minor panic attack at the thought of all of them trying and hating
all the spicy food. I needn’t have
worried – they all ordered fries and baked fish or chicken. Everything went swimmingly until I realised I
was also expected to address the assembly. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>A
cross-cultural relationship with an extrovert is just the thing for a shy
immigrant with an inability to express herself even in the languages in which
she is fluent</i>,
I thought, as I sat at the head of a long table listening to 20 people pound it
and chant my name while Joseph quietly begged me to make a ‘speak’ - for
him. <i>God, how did I come to be in this colossal mistake. <o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I muttered something
about being happy to be there, refused to kiss the table of essentially
friendly strangers, was mobbed for pictures, and hurried home to discuss these
events with Butters, who put into the words the feeling of overwhelming dismay
when faced with this country being... this country; he’d coined it during his
concert, when a pastor gave a 45-minute sermon disparaging the
young population of this vast, conflict-ridden country with a
16-year-and-still-going-strong presidential term, astronomical corruption and
unemployment, a parasitic state, and crippling humanitarian aid for not
financially supporting ‘heroes’ in fine arts. <i> <o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">My entire birthday week
was this eventful – one day, I walked to work with the zipper of my skirt
down. It was a pleated black skirt with
an overlapping button, and I was wearing a long black tunic tucked in – it
would have been hard to notice that the zipper was down unless my butt was
being fairly thoroughly examined, but I appreciated the kind young man’s PSA
just the same. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">The other event was a
dear friend’s sudden miscarriage, which hit me harder than I would have
expected. I’d laughed with her, danced
at her wedding this year, and blessed her substantial baby bump - never knowing
that I’d also cry at the loss of her precious little boy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">This is it – the good
and the bad, the low zippers and the high cakes, the newness of each sunrise
and the waning of each year, the speeches and the things better left unsaid;
here’s to another year of <i>life</i>. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
Kermithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01245298608185678247noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2448192503770270955.post-81550268764767495972017-11-30T10:08:00.001-07:002017-12-01T05:56:48.542-07:00Awareness Rising<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Over the past 21
months, I have been a part of many meetings, trainings, discussions, and
seminars. The common denominator, in the
end, is the firm belief that the real problem is everyone outside the room:
from the colonisers, to the Banyamulenge, to the president, to the civil
servants, to the NGOs, to the planning/implementation/monitoring/evaluation process
of any given project, to the village chiefs, to the villagers, to the gas in
the lake.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Everything is
the problem. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Everything but you
and me. And I’m not too sure about you. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></div>
<a name='more'></a><span style="font-family: inherit;">So I sit in
these meetings, biting my sharp tongue and waiting for an opening to set up my
soapbox in a rattling land cruiser, quiet office, or along the obstacle course
that we call a road.</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Recently, one
such seminar proved to be a surprise.
Headed by the Provincial Division of Health, we were learning how to
manage stress in the workplace. The oily
civil servant serving as our facilitator had firmly pushed the full
responsibility of funding all public services onto the shoulders of local NGOs
and, in consequence, their donors. Only
one doctor, a wizened character with a disturbing tendency to cackle, was
willing to face the truth. As I fully
expect to resemble him in the future – with bulging red eyes, a complete
disregard for human relations, and unparalleled rage released in the form of
inappropriate giggles – I took notes and have tried to quote him as best I can.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="color: #45818e; font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="color: #45818e; font-size: large;">“The community
approach?! <i>Community approach?!</i> It
doesn’t work! Who <i>is</i> the community?! It’s <i>us</i>!
It’s <i>our </i>responsibility as
civil servants to change our government – to charge our state to take
responsibility of its people and services...
There are always good results [with projects] – <i>as long as there is [financial] support! </i>But what happens <i>after </i>the support?! This is
what we should <i>always </i>be thinking
about. Think about what will
follow: <i>What will we do after? </i>We
won’t receive aid forever... <i>No</i> country has <i>ever </i>been developed through aid!
<i>Never! </i>...I’m looking at you – look me in the
eyes. <i>What do we do now?! </i>You’re
right: This work requires a lot of
money! <i>Who will give you this money?!</i>”</span></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">After a rousing
monologue - liberally interspersed with both our triumphant cackles and the
frantic scratching of my pen - as my coordinator regarded me in fond
exasperation, the room fell silent. Our
facilitator tried to rally. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">“Look, I’ve
noted this problem from the beginning.
The state just does not have the means--”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">“You have the
means; you don’t have the will,” stated one woman firmly. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">The room at
large hid their smirks as the deflated facilitator continued to gurgle excuses. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Over our lunch
break, I shook the eccentric doctor warmly by the hand and thanked him for his
honesty. My coordinator interjected that
this was the sort of thing I rambled on about all the time. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Now she’ll never shut up </i>was heavily implied. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">He is not wrong.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">But it was back
to business as usual in our other cluster meetings – led by various UN groups
that try to unify the many actors working in a given field to ensure maximum
protection and care of civilians. When
one facilitator noted that a lot of money was soon to arrive in this province
due to incredible human rights violations in the south by the national army and
armed groups alike, the excitement of the NGO representatives who worked in
that area was palpable; the others projected a general air of resignation,
content to hope that militias in their respective provinces would soon start
attacking women and children or burning villages so that they, too, could keep
their jobs. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">There seemed to
be a general increase in attacks by local militias in the recent past, although
it’s hard to gauge; sometimes it’s a shock to balance the experience of hearing
of, for example, 90 rapes in a certain zone, and knowing that a significant
portion of the population of this city grins indulgently at the possibility of
election-related violence as though they are mentally in Geneva. The most bizarre story this month was the
attack of women by local militias on the hunt for gold and other valuables in -
you guessed it – vaginas; now there’s an unbeatable Family Feud response. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">For years, we’ve
thought the family jewels to be the sole property of men, but they’re on to us,
ladies. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">As a good Indian
girl, I tend to wear my flashy jewellery on the <i>outside</i>, where it can <s> blind everyone in my vicinity </s> be properly appreciated. But who is to say that a pregnant mother of 5
in a village in central Africa <i>isn’t</i>
carrying around a bar of solid gold in her vajay-jay? Hmm?
Well?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">That’s right – the
proof is in the p-- Well, it’s somewhere,
at any rate. Unless it’s not, but you never
know until you check; it’s always in the last place you look, amiright? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">The final word
was that, in light of the holiday season, the number of these attacks is
expected to rise. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">Well, little Timmy really wants a Hot Wheels this
year... Hi, ho; hi, ho – it’s off to
work I go... <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Breaking news also
informed us that the national army set fire to 800 homes in a certain
area. Luckily, the homes had already
been abandoned – I assume due to the lack of insurance for <i>Crazy People in Uniform Crazily Setting Things on Fire </i>– but now
the refugees (who were thought to be rebels and thus undeserving of personal
property) have nowhere to return, thus requiring more aid. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Go team!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">At another meeting,
we discussed the apparent<i> decrease </i>in
human rights violations in the last month.
The speaker, earnestly presenting a set of data that could have been
found under a rock in the land called Honalee for all I knew, seriously
hypothesized that this was due to the deployment of the national army in zones
heretofore controlled by armed groups. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">A roomful of
humanitarian agents, representing around 35 NGOS, sniggered. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I’m sorry if all
this seems cynical; I certainly don’t mean to make light of human suffering. But dark humour is my way of dealing with the
reports above and simultaneous knowledge of a winter wonderland of candy canes
and peppermint hot chocolate. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">My friends and
coworkers have a similar approach, with a healthy dose of blind hope, which springs
eternal – in growing families, in students who continue to go to school, to
graduate, in workers who spend their lives moving from contract to
contract. But I’m afraid that hope
changes nothing without active heads, hearts, and hands. Without the awareness that the responsibility
for a failed state is shared with parents who accept financial compensation in
return for their daughter’s rape, with humanitarian workers who steal from that
poverty-stricken family to feed their own, with government employees who base
hiring practices on family trees rather than degrees, with tribes who kill over
territory that could be destroyed by the uniformed army of their own country, with
donors who place tighter controls on reports than they do on moral
standards. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Until this
changes, we will have nothing but a collection of impossible ideals in this vast
country – we’re all looking at a blueprint for total independence, but building
on a foundation of pointing fingers.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">You have heard
it said that with great power comes great responsibility, but truly I tell you
– with great responsibility comes great power. </span></div>
</div>
Kermithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01245298608185678247noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2448192503770270955.post-5842551536758893352017-11-17T04:02:00.000-07:002017-11-30T10:21:26.393-07:00Highs and Lows<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I had made a
presentation on biopsychology in French to a roomful of nurses, who learned
that hugging releases oxytocin, which is for bonding and trust – not only for
inducing contractions. My sheer
determination to not faint in this situation impressed me deeply, if no one
else, so I was content. Weeks later,
when I tried to explain to the Medical Director of that health zone that we
would like to invite some of his head nurses to a four-day seminar on mental
illness (diagnosis and treatment), he was disgusted with the proposed budget.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">“Change it to
two days. That’s all that’s
necessary. None of them understand about
the hypothalamus anyway.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Now, I am by no
means a highly trained individual, but this is equivalent of saying of a doctor
“Oh, forget about the pancreas; it doesn’t make sense to him anyway.”<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><br />
<a name='more'></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Or of a scientist,
“Oh, don’t bother with graphs - statistics are beyond her anyway.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">You can’t just <i>skip </i>items in your field of study or
career because they seem initially complex.
If I trust an educated human being to find a vein in my arm, I expect
him to comprehend the sentence, “The hypothalamus is located deep in the brain,
affects the function of the pituitary gland, and controls many aspects of
emotion and behaviour.” The various
biochemistry and associated neurocircuitry may by none of their concern at this
point, but if a Medical Director is sincerely doubtful of his staff’s ability
to understand the above phrase, we should all just give up hope now. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">After the whole
mess around trying to get this training off the ground in two health zones,
cancelling one of them, and trying (and failing) to convince health care
professionals that the world is not responsible for paying for their family of
ten to improve their practices for their patients in a largely forgotten forest
at the end of a rutted road in Central Africa, I was both at the end of my
patience and my Saturday.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I was trying to
track down the nun who’d promised me an extension cord for another presentation
on mental health care for the students of the nursing school where this seminar
was being held. I approached the kitchen
where she was usually puttering around, and the kitchen staff - running a
little late on lunch - saw a golden opportunity. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">“She keeps the
cord. She’s gone. Will you give us bread?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I stared at the
head chef, a girl possibly in her early twenties, possibly a mother of
five. <i>Why should I… What are we even... This is event coordination at its
finest. </i>“No.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">And then I found
someone else who would give me an extension cord and who didn’t currently need
bread or my earrings or my scarf or my bag or my shoes or my pen or a notebook <i>to do their job</i>. After the presentation for the students, we
offered them juice and a sandwich – they happily accepted, spoke to the
journalist we’d brought with us, and generally seemed content. I tried to stay near my team and smile
vaguely at everyone’s ears because my patience (a tiny wisp of a thing in
critical condition at the best of times) had just been pronounced clinically
dead by my internal coroner. Later, trying
to pack up everything for the glorious, unforeseeable future when the nurses
who’d taken part in the seminar would accept their $5 transport fee and <i>just go home</i>, I was caught alone by two
girls who decided to give it a shot. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">“Thank you for
the food, but we’re still hungry.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">Ob-lah-di, ob-lah-dah...<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I understand
that I shouldn’t be so frustrated, that both colonialism and humanitarian aid
have set a bad example in the past, and that people need food and money to
survive and thrive. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I get it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I do. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">But I also have
a sneaking suspicion that my blood pressure could rival the elevation of the
Himalayas. My empathy and impatience are
locked in mortal combat, and the battleground is me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">So when the
power in our apartment mysteriously decided to largely disappear for around a
week, I was perilously close to a breakdown.
I don’t think I’m very high-maintenance, but I need to read (on my
laptop, which needs to be charged), and I need one shower a day (for which
bathwater needs to be heated). In
addition, we were guarding Carrottop and BFG’s food in our fridge and freezer,
everything was in danger of rotting, and <i>there
was no reason for this cut</i>. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I mean, perhaps
there was – a missing part, upgrades, repairs - but it wasn’t shared with us,
and that was frustrating, especially when the dry season was no longer an
excuse. Consistency is the key to moving
up Maslow’s hierarchy – a consistent salary, a consistent shelter, consistent
meals... Only then could the mind hope
to aim for higher ideals. And this
too-large country, this too-small world, this just-not-right system prevented
that – keeping its people in a state of constant adaptation for food, water,
and power, and without hope of steady jobs in a country covering over 2 344 800 km2 with
a population of 79 700 000 (2016), 52% of whom were under the age of 18 in 2012 (https://www.unicef.org/infobycountry/drcongo_statistics.html ; http://data.un.org/CountryProfile.aspx?crName=democratic%20republic%20of%20the%20congo). <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">It was with all
this weighing on my mind and arteries that I wandered into the kitchen to find
the very messily dead body of yet another nocturnal scavenger. This one, being very large and hideously
grotesque, had not had the dubious justice of choking to death. Instead, he’d been impaled on the trap and
had bled out. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">On the floor
next to my beautiful, golden <i>aloo paratha</i>. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">No Indian woman has
ever known such sorrow. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Well, perhaps
many have, but woe is me anyway. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXnrRVkPr6ke2kYii6B9C3tLKOWB8-Tb7CpXo9Bfpoep7RwmBRmUi2XrwgLjdz-JurXU9tviQCP3g2iSnIdgNhFebCa0b3CE2xvKEdEgFd5R4keTNOd4gYq3XSbv8JFQUonFKtO8CfYRU/s1600/CIMG4407.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXnrRVkPr6ke2kYii6B9C3tLKOWB8-Tb7CpXo9Bfpoep7RwmBRmUi2XrwgLjdz-JurXU9tviQCP3g2iSnIdgNhFebCa0b3CE2xvKEdEgFd5R4keTNOd4gYq3XSbv8JFQUonFKtO8CfYRU/s320/CIMG4407.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Granddad Rat, who was in palliative care for some sort of terrible growths on his grizzled body,</span></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">was called back to serve country and rat with his last breath - and drop of blood, as it happened.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Neither gone nor forgotten </span></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">(due to leaving much DNA and likely Bubonic Plague 2.0 near the stove)</span></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">RIP</span></span></div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I tried to walk
away in order to force Butters to find it ‘first’ and do away with it like a
man, but my conscience (a titan in combat boots, in contrast to poor Patience)
disagreed. So I dragged the trap and the
attached body outside to await the Grin Keeper and cleaned up on Aisle 5 with
several pairs of gloves, bleach, and prayers for forgiveness for the unexpected
number of vertebrates I have killed since becoming, in essence, a peacekeeping
intern in Central Africa. </span></div>
</div>
Kermithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01245298608185678247noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2448192503770270955.post-40379428770911006942017-11-11T00:25:00.000-07:002017-11-11T01:26:05.954-07:00A Thousand Words<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">The sun pours
lazily over the mists and slanting tin roofs of a Central African city. The irrepressible growth of dense greenery,
like a daisy in the cracking sidewalk of a seedy neighbourhood, makes the place
look hopeful, alive. Birds signal the
dawn along with the screeching car alarm that heralds anything from the fact
that it is being cleaned, to a slight wind, to the realisation that existence
is futile in a chassis of metal and oil. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">The intrepid
human, in her natural habitat of pyjamas, surveys the scene with the same quiet
satisfaction of Mufasa watching the circle of life from Pride Rock. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">In the distance,
there is a thorax-shaking <i>boom!</i> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Perhaps I should not be making breakfast outside today</i>, she thinks. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></div>
<a name='more'></a><span style="font-family: inherit;">More </span><i style="font-family: inherit;">booms</i><span style="font-family: inherit;"> and gunshots follow.</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">Then again, perhaps I will need coffee more than usual
in order to pack the emergency bag I should have packed months ago on Carrottop’s
orders. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">So she stayed
outside, half in the hope that a stray shot would provide the excuse and pity
she needed to really sell <i>Oh, </i>pack a
bag<i>!
I thought you said </i>whack a nag<i>! You mean it’s not a southern Americanism? Well, I </i>am<i> an immigrant... Oh, the blood
loss is making me so weak – hold me... <o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">...But mostly
secure in the knowledge that the sounds seemed relatively distant (close to the Rwandan border, in fact, which was admittedly more worrying), and her downstairs
neighbours also seemed unconcerned about packing their bags and were instead calmly discussing the situation - also on their balconey. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">It turned out
that a recently discharged anti-fraud leader, instead of demobilising as he’d
been told, had decided to hole up in his home with a small army of personal
bodyguards armed to the teeth. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Dis<i>arm?!
Oh, I thought you said </i>Arm big many much lots shoot anything that
moves<i>!
What a hilarious misunderstanding.
<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Due to this, the
leader’s community (an already much vilified tribe due to their tendency to
kill people – usually in retaliation to people killing them) suffered a
ransacking of their church and probably enough platitudes about solidarity and
togetherness to choke the rocket launcher used that morning. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">After a
leisurely breakfast spent eavesdropping, I returned to my bed and many missed calls from Joseph
(who was singularly <i>laissez-faire </i>about gunshots in this city, but likely thought our
organisation had chloroformed and bundled us to a Swiss bunker in the dead of
the night), and a text from Carrottop (who was likewise calm, probably due to the
grave misapprehension that we’d all packed our emergency bags) to stay indoors. Closer to ground zero, foreigners and locals
alike hid in the hallways of their homes and tried to pretend that the military
were friends, not fools. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">It is against
this backdrop that I am consistently being pressured about my relationship with
Joseph – as though it is the most vital aspect of all our daily lives. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">“Hey, you’re
looking good today!” said one of my favourite people at church - a very joyful,
happily married, skilled musician – looking over my black shirt and jeans.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">“Thanks!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">“Black is
handsome, huh?” he continued.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">“Yes, I supp--”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">“Black really
suits you,” he finished, staring meditatively into the distance. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I was slightly
confused about why we were still having this conversation, followed his line of
vision, saw a laughing Joseph with his friends, and choked slightly. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Mission thus
accomplished, my friend sauntered away cackling. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">The downside of
dating an apparently well-known musician (let it be known that I never, ever
asked for this) is that everyone either went to school or church with him,
which means many more opportunities to play Pin the Expression of Shellshocked
Horror on the Mzungu. I should be more
used to this – we face worse from shoe-sellers at the nearby market who watch
us avidly as we walk by, have the temerity to have loud Swahili conversations
about us, and then giggle when I race away in response to their questions. As I’ve recently started a Swahili/English
language exchange with one of these old classmates, I’m also able to be teased <i>in English</i>. One day, when I asked for an example of a
prepositional phrase:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">“Will
you... No, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I
cannot ask this. Will you... No, no, I cannot.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I waited,
because it was obvious he could and would. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">“Will you <i>get used to</i>... African culture if you
get married in Bukavu? I mean, in Africa?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">He later
informed me that, to fulfil the above expectation, I would have to learn
Joseph’s tribal language, because wasn’t I going to have a traditional marriage
in a forest?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Do I </i>look <i>like
I will have a traditional African wedding in a forest in Central Africa. <o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">That same day, I
trudged home just in time to be swamped by the recriminations of the
Russian-doll housemaids downstairs. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">“You’re always
out with your boyfriend!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">“He comes to see
you every day. EVERY DAY!”<br />
“He stays there until THE NIGHT! SO LATE!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">“Even [the
landlord] knows you’re out late with your boyfriend!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I resisted the
urge to sob. The landlord’s
hero-worshipping daughters had seen me with Joseph at the door to our apartment
building once and had stood there giggling hysterically while I walked him one
street over to catch a ride home at 9pm (which is how he usually leaves the 2-3
evenings per week that we sit at our dinner table and talk from 7pm – these are
not dates, they are prison visits). I
can only imagine what they told their father.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I escaped up the
stairs – ashamedly avoiding the intrigued eyes of a very grimy vegetable seller
- while the girls continued a loud sermon on how I should get married and stay
here, but not to a black man because they were bad. </span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">I’ve also heard variations on this theme that
focused on Joseph’s tribe – that all the men are sexist.</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">I thought Indians might have a problem with
our relationship, but it looks like they’d have to get in line.</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">I suppose we could just hand out paper bags
wherever we go and instruct people to breathe or vomit into them as necessary -
assuring them that we wouldn’t suddenly burst into marriage on the spot, but if
we felt somewhat marriage-y, we’d let them know. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">But I still
foresee only smiling weakly in lieu of a response to the more sincere questions. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">“Hey, is your
lover coming over tonight?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Shut </i>up<i>, you
messy-headed heathen.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">“But you’re
going back to Canada, right?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;"> Et tu,
Carrottop?<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"> “Where do you see the future leading?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">Can you trace the journey of the Hindenburg, honey? The Titanic?<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">“Can’t you just
be good friends?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">I’ll be sure to present this option when we meet his
parents, Mother; perhaps we shall all be good friends together.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">But I wouldn’t count on it. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
</div>
Kermithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01245298608185678247noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2448192503770270955.post-32801196262916238842017-11-06T08:25:00.001-07:002017-11-07T00:03:50.528-07:00Bodies and Souls<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">The training on diagnosing and treating mental illness went smoothly
right up until it didn’t - which was the point at which we offered $5 to each
participant for coming, staying on our tab for four days, and learning how best
to care for their patients.</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">One older head nurse began drinking during the last meal and wouldn’t
stop – apparently, we were to be his DD in order to see the condition of the
route to the hospital where our seminar was held. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I had given up a precious Saturday for the closing of this training and was
doing everything except literally flapping my arms and hooting to herd everyone
to the door like a bunch of lost (or drunken) sheep. Unfortunately, 3:00pm to 4:30pm saw a steady
stream of complaints and a lovely zigzag of pointing fingers that would’ve
intrigued a seasoned knitter. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></span><br />
<a name='more'></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #134f5c;"><i><b><span style="font-size: large;">“You can’t expect us to come here for $5! It’s $10 each way for some of us!”</span> - Head Nurse 1</b></i></span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<b style="color: #0c343d; font-family: inherit;"><i><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: large;">“You should have lied to the donors – they don’t know the reality of the
situation! You should have said you were
paying room and board, and used that money to pay us directly instead. </span></span><span lang="FR"><span style="font-size: large;">We’re Africans – we know how to débrouillons-nous!”</span> - Slightly Less Diplomatic Hospital Rep</span></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #45818e;"><b><i><span style="font-size: large;">“We would have come anyway, because the training is the important part,
but you should have told us it was going to be $5.”</span> - Slightly More Diplomatic Hospital Rep </i></b></span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #073763;"><b><i><span style="font-size: large;">“You really should be paying them more.
This is ridiculous.” </span> - Department
of Health (governmental) Employee</i></b></span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><b><i><span style="font-size: large;">“Our annual budget was cut by 35%!
It’s the donor’s fault!” </span> - My
Organisation</i></b></span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: inherit;"><b><i><span style="font-size: large;">“But you’re our partner on the ground – you provide the planning!”</span> - Donor Rep<o:p></o:p></i></b></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span lang="EN-US"><b><span style="font-size: large;">Someone give these people whatever the all-fired heck
they need to go home because I have a date at 6:30pm and if I miss it, I swear
to cow…</span></b></span></i><span lang="EN-US"><b><i> - Me</i></b><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #0b5394;"><b><i><span style="font-size: large;">“Where is the Medical Director??” </span>
- Head Nurse 2</i></b></span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">He’d been perfectly aware of our budget, had been provided with a copy,
and had accepted it – he could have shared it with the participants, and apparently
should have. He wasn’t available for
questioning because he was in another village for the day – ostensibly for
supervision, but likely because he foresaw the dung hitting the windmill. In the end, we scrounged up $10 per
participant just to get them to go home and not drink themselves into a stupor
at a boarding school for nursing students; anything to set a good example. In return they refused any amount and went
home in a right snit. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b><i><span style="color: #45818e;"><span style="font-size: large;">“Well, it’s actually the fault of the head nurses themselves; they get
all this money from projects in their health centres and they’re used to
helping themselves!” </span> - General Consensus
on the Way Home</span></i></b><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span lang="EN-US">There is an appalling lack of responsibility and
accountability here. No one wants to be
the bad guy, so we all blame each other and keep doing the same stupid things
and expecting a different result</span></i><span lang="EN-US">, thought
the person who’d helped modify the budget and thought that $5 was a perfectly
acceptable amount of motivation to attend training, but who’d kept suspiciously
silent during the kerfuffle. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span lang="EN-US">But do you see why lying is bad?! Why we can’t justify paying both room and
board </span></i><span lang="EN-US">and <i>a daily
transport fee?! I don’t care if UNICEF
offers a per diem of $10/day – per diems, in my world, are for qualified people’s
time and input for a study or a policy change, not for glorified students! Even as an Indian, you don’t see me asking a
university to pay me to attend classes, do you?! HMM?!<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Answer: No. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">So we will now personally visit each participating head nurse in their individual
health centres (which were deliberately chosen far from the hospital in various
directions with the idea that they may be the most in need of support and
training) in order to give them $20 for learning something, and to provide them
with the registers in which they will record the mental health cases they
receive (and which they will stop using when the pages run out or when the
project ends – whichever comes first). We
cannot just wait for the monthly meeting, at which time they would all meet at
the hospital anyway, as this would have added insult to injury. As a result, they would’ve made life (and
results) difficult for our female field worker, who would have to deal with
them for the remainder of the project. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">In the end, we all learned several important lessons:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Medical Directors are perfectly justified in encouraging local partners
and staff members to lie to donors because they just don’t understand the
actual situation – and apparently cannot and should not. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">The government officials who have a vested interest in the continued
filling of this leaky bucket – less work and responsibility, and higher
consulting fees under the guise of ‘capacity building of the national system’ -
are in the right.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Donors should be giving more vast sums of money with less control and
demand for accountability – it’s imminently clear that largely uneducated,
poverty-stricken rural recipients (supposed beneficiaries – after a long line
of middlemen) with large families know how best to use available resources and
the nation-wide improvements in the last 50 years prove it. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">It’s the fault of NGOs for starting this terrible practice of providing external,
material incentives for learning – and it’s up to all of us to continue it
because locals need money; it is the key to social and cultural change, as well
as supporting families of 8-10 children. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Wherever the fault lies, it’s a good thing the Bible has something to
say about crushing the head of the adder and the asp. Or is it the young lion? Maybe the young rat... <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqvkbNuJKAR31398zMKENz-0gZHNv7VqImh1HdJo-p0LT-RtKE7sN0asbN-5X_IGjZFvDRHxPpX2HNKRYgnijWOqJ51coBsGzlk1RF-vFlHJdZ-mSFK0IFavGxodhPaKkgWt3Amc24Avs/s1600/CIMG4406.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqvkbNuJKAR31398zMKENz-0gZHNv7VqImh1HdJo-p0LT-RtKE7sN0asbN-5X_IGjZFvDRHxPpX2HNKRYgnijWOqJ51coBsGzlk1RF-vFlHJdZ-mSFK0IFavGxodhPaKkgWt3Amc24Avs/s320/CIMG4406.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">He had to quit school to provide for his little brothers and<br />
sisters after rat dad walked out and rat mom was killed on duty</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">On another date night set to the sound of a much smaller rat asphyxiating
very slowly in the kitchen, I had to continue to wrestle with this theme of
mercy and justice.</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">After listening to
the hideous creature cry miserably for over an hour, and having Joseph
gleefully demonstrate just how to put it out of its misery, I finally womaned
up and gently hinted that Butters should just step on its head.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">And my (I use this term very loosely) Anabaptist man delivered. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Because sometimes cruelty wraps itself in the softest mantle of
kindness.</span></div>
</div>
Kermithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01245298608185678247noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2448192503770270955.post-85847142930388862322017-10-27T03:56:00.000-06:002017-10-27T04:19:59.875-06:00Hearts and Minds<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #222222;">This is the struggle – between hearts
and minds, between words and actions. </span><span style="color: #222222;"> </span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Like struggling between giggles and a
facepalm when asked if I wanted to ‘cuddle legs’ with my date in the car rather
than having him sit in the passenger’s seat (I chose the latter). <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Some of us don’t fight this good fight –
some of us have very little to hide. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">“Hey, gurrrrl!”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></span></div>
<a name='more'></a><span style="color: #222222; font-family: inherit;">I sighed. </span><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">“Can I get that TP! Get... some of that TP! That... TP...!”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I’ve gotten used to Butters’
intermittent forgetfulness of the fact that toilet paper is a necessity, but I
don’t think I will ever get used to Butters himself. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">“Holla holla holla holla holla...” he
sang out as he strolled away with his prize. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Other in-between spaces are much
larger. Like the one between me and a colleague
who keeps announcing (his word, not mine) that his brothers are getting
married. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<i><span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I
have paid for at least 8 babies and 5 marriages in the 19 months I’ve been
here, and I’ve been asked to pay for at least 20 more of each – it is difficult
to refuse to support your twin brothers and their future wives and children,
but I will do it. Yes, even if you’re
the eldest brother. We all have
problems. <o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Like dealing with an obstreperous
Medical Director for the dubious honour of carrying out a development project
in his health zone. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">It was the first time I would be organising
a training session myself. I’d helped
with minimizing the budget (which had faced a sudden 35% decrease), and had
been anointed by my roommates to work out logistics without any contacts, slightly
fairer skin than your average Congolese, a high probability of some abject
failures, and equal opportunities for learning.
My first task was to inform the Medical Director that we were going to
be working in his zone – that is, invite, teach, and cover room and board for a
single head nurse from 8 health centres in an effort to equip them identify, treat,
or refer patients with psychological trauma. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">He refused. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">“You think that Africans can just accept
any conditions!”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I would be staying in the same
‘conditions’ for the four days of the training.
I am not African. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">“But this is your work; you’re paid to
do this!”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I’m a volunteer for a 2-year program. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">“I would never allow my head nurses to
stay in the miserable conditions that your budget guarantees!”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I’d stayed in the same ‘conditions’ in
another health zone and had been very comfortable (other than the gauntlet of
teenage boys who lined the corridors every time I went to the bathroom). <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">“As doctors, we’d gone to another
training session in Rwanda – at a Catholic guest house - and it was horrible! The bed was so low!”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I’d stayed with priests before, and the
grounds and services offered were miles and away above what (largely unpaid)
head nurses and their families survived on a daily basis. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">“You’re only offering $5 for
transport! That’s a salary of $1 a day!”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">No, it wasn’t. A salary is provided by the government or
the public in exchange for a service. A
transport fee is the amount international donors provide (over and above room
and board) in order to reach and train local professionals to better serve
their rural communities.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">This continued for two hours – an
impossible conversation between a bureaucratic oaf who wanted to receive
foreigners’ money and was willing to pull the race card to ensure it, and a
shy, cheap immigrant volunteer of few (spoken) words and very little persuasive
ability, much less a desire to negotiate with terrorists. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">After a terse phone conversation, my Coordinator
(whom I’d been afraid would offer a bribe just to carry out this activity)
accepted the Director’s refusal and allowed us to return to the city. During the 1-hr trip over dusty rocks, I had
a conversation with our driver, who accepted my novel definition of the word
‘corruption’ and took to it whole-heartedly.
A pastor’s son himself, he confessed that corruption began in the
church, where money from the poor and desperate would disappear into the
pastor’s gleaming SUV. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">“Our leaders are all traumatised,” he
informed me. “You should start treating
them.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Actually, I thought we should start with
children learning the appropriate definition of the word ‘corruption.’ “Everyone accepts that corruption is terrible
for the country. Everyone knows. But we each have a responsibility to carry
out what we know in our minds. Would you
accept corruption?”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I’ll leave his answer to your
imagination. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">When we returned to our head office, he
began preaching to another colleague, who’d paid the Medical Director of
another health zone in order to start this project. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">“It’s corruption!” he said firmly. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">This conversation continued the next day
between these two colleagues and an agent of the Division of Provincial Health –
even though the second colleague wasn’t fully on board. I knew that, in his heart, he believed that
the donors should provide a line in the budget for ‘motivation,’ but at least
he’d started to speak about work ethic.
I stayed out of the conversation because of my unrealistic ideals that
people can work out of integrity and passion.
Eventually tiring of this inner battle, my second colleague invited me
to give answers that he wasn’t sure of himself.
<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">“How can you expect a Medical Director
to facilitate your project without some... motivation?”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I explained that, as a Medical Director,
his job should be to facilitate and liaise between projects and funding to
ensure the training and innovation of the personnel in his zone. So that they would know, for example, how to
address the rural belief that epilepsy is spread through farts during seizures.
If the sharing of this knowledge were
‘motivated’ by money instead of a good work ethic, the work would stop with the
end of the project. And projects would
soon come to an end as well. Money would
eventually come to an end. Instead of
complaining that the budget had been gradually decreasing since the 90s, it might
be time to find new ways to empower personnel, to lobby the government to do
its job, to ensure necessary resources and training for educated individuals to
bring services to those in poverty. Perhaps
it was time to support a different health zone – one with a Medical Director
more committed to quality of service rather than quantity of budget. At the very least, it could be time to
explain to donors that their budgets <i>are
not enough to solve the problem of Africa. </i><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">But offering a bribe does nothing. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">“But it’s motiva--”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">No.
It’s not. It’s stagnation and
long-term failure. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">So the seminar for that zone was
cancelled, but another would continue as planned. Our invitations read 8am, we arrived at 9am
on the first day, and 4 out of 10 participants had arrived when we decided to
begin the seminar at 10:30am. It was
11:30am by the time we decided that we would take a break at 12pm, who would be
the secretary, who would make sure we were respecting our timeline... Our refreshments arrived at 12:30pm, and I
look forward to the discussion on the transport fee. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">In the meantime, I was just asked to do
something to wake the group up – a joke, a story... something, in short, at
which I fail miserably. Someone asked me
to tell the story of how I came here from Europe.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">The closest I’ve been to Europe is a 6hr
layover in Frankfurt. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">One kind gentleman said I had to stand
at his left, and that we were going to walk around the room waving both our
hands while the whole room clapped for us. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I think I might be married. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">It’s a constant struggle. </span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
Kermithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01245298608185678247noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2448192503770270955.post-13747946672145389652017-10-20T08:47:00.000-06:002017-10-27T03:53:02.701-06:00How the Mighty Fall<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Well, I’m dating. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">And it’s about as lovely as you’d expect. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">You know, long walks in the
mud, experiencing behavioural segregation, having dinner with my roommate,
listening to a rat die in the next room...
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">...Perhaps I should start
from the beginning. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><br />
<a name='more'></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Dating, for me, is a 5-step
program. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Step 1: Desperate Avoidance – Most men are thwarted
here. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Step 2: Determined Friend-Zoning – I have a permit and
I am not afraid to use it; trespassers will be told they look <i>just </i>like my brother. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Step 3: Casual Abuse – Sarcasm and subtle feminism erode
at fragile egos until a single <s> idio </s> victor emerges.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Step 4: Violent Cynicism – All the worst stories
about love are presented; this serves the dual purpose of a punishment for
having bested me in battle and a foretaste of our future. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Step 5: Acceptance – All the hugs. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I told Butters, Carrottop,
and BFG about the tender blossoming of my relationship at Step 1 in order to
have the support of my community in evasion, but only Butters knew I had joined
the program. When I finally admitted –
perhaps 10 months later – to Carrottop that I was dating, she advised me to
stop being such a secretive loser. I
took this into account and, a few weeks later, admitted <i>whom </i>I was dating (let’s call him Joseph). At that time, she and BFG issued an open
invitation to dinner for me, my commitment phobia, and our +1. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Soon after this, I put
myself in a situation of relative safety alone with Joseph, and this was
classified as An Incident for my organisation as a whole – I have recurrent
nightmares where the ensuing report is shared at a fundraising meeting for
preppy teens in Nebraska. Since then,
our dates have consisted of sitting at the dinner table in the living room of
our 4<sup>th</sup>-floor apartment while Timbit learns to play guitar in the
darkness of her room and Butters eats dinner in front of the computer in
his. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I am destroying our family. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">In addition, the 1st-floor housemaids
regularly ask me how my <i>cheri</i> is
doing. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">This sort of indignity is
not to be borne. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">In a desperate attempt to
leave the house, I gave up my Saturday of Braless Solitude to tromp through the
mud in Rwanda to reach a spotless new home with a fabulous studio for a DJ with
a passion for gospel music – which Joseph is incredibly skilled at
playing. Later, we went out for lunch
and Joseph had a first-class taste of <i>mzungu
</i>life when the sweet server, Clementine, wiped my plate with a napkin, washed
my mud-sodden shoes, and left him to his own devices. So my darling Clementine and I talked while
he ate off a dirty plate and washed his own sandals, quietly musing how his
life might’ve been different if he’d been Indian. Clementine, meanwhile, was doing up the top
buttons on my shirt and crooning over my penchant to say <i>Thank you </i>to everything. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Since Joseph’s skills are
not restricted solely to preaching, patience, playing various instruments, generosity,
leading a choir, kindness, training interns, self-control, planning, implementing,
and monitoring agricultural projects, etc. he also advised Butters and I about
our rat problem (i.e. to kill Ratilla or face the horde), carefully fixing a
peanut onto each of our traps while struggling with PTSD from a rat pooping in
his newly-washed sheets twice or thrice upon a time. In honour of this good fight, Ratilla waited
some time before consuming each skewered peanut without incident. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">One lazy Sunday afternoon,
when Butters saw Ratilla shoot past his room and into the kitchen, he decided
we’d had enough. With his usual
impulsive commitment to random acts of idiocy, he was certain he would be able
to harpoon Ratilla with a broomstick handle.
When I pointed out the incongruity of an Anabaptist man being able to do
any such thing, I was given the job title of Murderer. So we blocked most of the exits (doors, traps,
covering gaps etc.), and began the hunt.
In retrospect, we were both so frightened of moving appliances and bags,
and so prone to screaming (okay, that was me – I have no idea what Butters was
doing whenever Ratilla was visible, but it had to be quieter than me) that it
was a lost cause from the start. Ratilla
was stuck for a brief moment at his usual escape route (blocked by our doormat),
but somehow managed to squirm away while I was occupied with shrieking and
ineffectually waggling the broomstick handle in the air. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Soon after, on date night,
Butters had just finished his supper with us when there was a small commotion
in the kitchen. Assuming it to be just
another day at home, home, on the range stove, where the vermin and the ant
play, I was surprised when Joseph patted my hand and congratulated me on the
end of our time of pestilence. The
Phoenix, in his magical way, had finally found a way to outwit Ratilla, and we
were at the end of this months-long impasse.
So first there was the <i>cha-cha</i>
of the trap snapping shut on Ratilla’s neck, then slowly weakening struggles as
<i>she </i>(as it turned out) tried to
escape, deep wheezing as she fought to breathe, two final, pained screams, and
it was finished. The next morning, I
would hear the squeaks of what I imagined was a desperately hungry little rat
family, unable to send the little ratlings to school because Mommy wasn’t home
from work. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiv7zoM8aifHnDY3Sqy0bIa0Kb9I38_2pCP1yPVVXxsA1hJXgAA8xMOM6Ymhgt9bCinxFVO46z-9vNCxwOpDfhplvzrS6QIXG52XzL_KhyphenhyphenBlcGzK4Fqz_J7YAeDiPpoCd20AmFTdQSrK0I/s1600/CIMG4303.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiv7zoM8aifHnDY3Sqy0bIa0Kb9I38_2pCP1yPVVXxsA1hJXgAA8xMOM6Ymhgt9bCinxFVO46z-9vNCxwOpDfhplvzrS6QIXG52XzL_KhyphenhyphenBlcGzK4Fqz_J7YAeDiPpoCd20AmFTdQSrK0I/s320/CIMG4303.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Victory is less sweet than you would think</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Butters, Joseph, and I
watched parts of her final moments – sometimes with Joseph’s arm around me – like we were at
a late night show. The mood, such as it
was, was basically shot (though apparently not from Joseph’s point of view),
but that left a part of me free to mentally catalogue the details of my hot
date set to the soundtrack of a rat asphyxiating in our kitchen in the Congo.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">It’ll be something to tell
the children, that’s for sure. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">After Joseph left, I tried
to advise Butters to just throw the little corpse somewhere it would be found
by a bird. He accused me of poisoning
the city’s water supply and left it on the path to <i>our </i>water supply as a clear sign of what he thought of my
ideas. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I was supposed to deal with
it the next morning, but decided to leave it for the man of the house – like
any good feminist. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
Kermithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01245298608185678247noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2448192503770270955.post-65908952724399584162017-10-13T01:07:00.003-06:002017-10-13T07:34:22.208-06:00Just a Spoonful<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #222222;">I am slightly
sociopathic.</span><span style="color: #222222;"> </span><span style="color: #222222;">Just a little.</span><span style="color: #222222;"> </span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">This
epiphany was brought to you by Butters (and the letters F and U) during an
argument in which I raved that he was never on my side, didn’t love me, and
never would.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></span></div>
<a name='more'></a><span style="color: #222222; font-family: inherit;">“Just
to be clear – I think they’re making a big deal of it,” he said – I assume in
reference to the Incident Report of my wild escapade of talking to a pastor’s
son one evening.</span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: inherit;"> </span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: inherit;">“But what’s not helping
is your utter lack of remorse!” he finished at a roar in order to be heard over
my triumphant ululation.</span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: inherit;"> </span><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Butters,
despite being a young white male, is capable of converting oxygen into profound
insight at times. I recognize my many
flaws and mistakes, but for the most part, <i>I
have an utter lack of remorse when it comes to certain actions I have deemed
necessary. </i>Some classify this as a
spirit of defiance - which seems to be all the more traitorous coming from a normally
spineless pile of hair – and attempt to crush it (usually because my motto is <i>Go big or go home</i>). <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I was
once suspended either from high school (this seems doubtful) or from gym class
(more likely, and also more of a reward than anything else) for hiding from
softball in the bathroom with a friend. I
felt this same sensation then, as every freedom fighter since Jacob found Leah
on his wedding night: <i>Bring it.
<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">If,
in light of this spiritual mentorship, you assume Butters to be an egalitarian paragon
of (somewhat easy) virtue who reads French novels and is currently learning
Spanish as well as developing an adult ESL curriculum while being a musical
prodigy in his free time… I would like you to know that he <i>also </i>wanders out of his room with a tissue stuffed up his nose
because he refuses to take allergy medication and enjoys spending his mornings
honking at the sunrise like my father before him and Canada geese before them
for centuries untold. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">He
once wandered into my room to ask about pubes.
<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I
tried to blend into my bed and hoped this conversation would go away. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Nevertheless,
he persisted. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Eventually,
Butters was convinced to change his intonation and I was forced to admit that I
did not have an EPUB reader to read the book he’d recommended, which was in an
EPUB format. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">E-PUB. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">In
other news, Ratilla is alive and well, strictly gluten-free, and enjoys the
occasional treats of peanut butter that Butters carefully spreads over metal
spring mechanisms and tests repeatedly while his roommates wait on tenterhooks
for the inevitable scream and visit to the nearby clinic after dark. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I hope
I get to write that Incident Report. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Work
feels just like home. “I continue to
love you,” one elderly man of God assured me one morning. Of course, in an excited effort to speak English
one day, he’d told me he was going to leave people in my bras (French for <i>arms</i>) for me to conduit (<i>lead</i>), so maybe I shouldn’t take him at
his word, even when it is all in French. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">But most
of my colleagues are just as loving, which came to good use one day when I was
accosted on the way to visit a donor. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I
heard “You Indian!” (or <i>You idiot! </i>– either
way, definitely in reference to me) just before I was yanked back by my scarf
and hair. “Nj-a-ala!” he said, motioning
to his stomach. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Prepared
to deploy my usual façade of polite incomprehension, I was foiled when one of
my friends paid the man 200 francs to let go of the scarf another friend had in
a death grip. I gather this was the only
way forward, as he’d apparently had a knife and was tipsy. I wasn’t so much scared for myself as I was
furious that we’d paid him to continue acting this way; he provided the face
for the reason my family thinks this place is hopeless. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">“I told
you to walk faster!” I hissed at my friends.
They burst into laughter – I had to laugh too, but the anger continued
to simmer. I’d been bothered like this
before, but saying no, pretending incomprehension, or ignoring worked to
discourage them. One man, a half-naked possible
schizophrenic (who’d apparently been cursed by a witch) used to follow me often
when I lived in the old apartment. He
once grabbed my arm and even some side-boob action before realizing that I was
quite possibly crazier than he was (after this, I also avoided him like the
plague because, really). Then there was
the <a href="http://josh1-9-hakunamatata.blogspot.com/2016/10/my-church-has-strobe-light-and-other.html" target="_blank">Lesser Ipod Theft of 2016</a>, after which I hope I instilled into two
students the importance doing justice and loving kindness for the good of their
city. The girl often sees and greets me
happily – asking if I remember her – as though her efforts to rob me have
created a lasting bond between us. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I
just refuse to give in to this sort of insanity that begets further
insanity. I have no problem with giving
up some peace of mind and a scarf in order to indicate that I will not be easily
intimidated or fooled. Being mugged on a
dark street is one thing – choosing a foreigner in broad daylight as an easy mark and irritating
them until they produce riches is not a Pavlovian response I want to encourage.
<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">We
are people, not oysters. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I’m
not proud of this level of stubbornness (and neither, it must be said, is Indian
culture as a whole), but I believe that love takes a level of suffering, and I
do so love it here. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Even
when I’m told I am to make a presentation on mental health to health care
professionals in French in an hour. Even
when the car keys come flying out of the ignition on the rocky route to said presentation. Even when my friend, who’d hated the
president until very recently, sports a canary-yellow banner bearing his stoic
face. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">“Because
the new governor of this province is from my tribe!” he said triumphantly. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
This one act that the president allowed turned him from Public Enemy No.1 to a hero. <i>Now</i>
money would come into this province. <i>Now</i> the local tribe would be hired. <i>Now it
was their turn to eat</i>. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I rejoiced
with him – I did. I laughed to hear that
his wife and children danced at the governor’s inauguration all night, and I
congratulated him on the future he saw changing. But I also tried to tell him that change involving
the elevation of one group over another would always fail. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">“I
don’t care – now we’ll finally see the news roads in campaigned for in
Bujumbura in 2006! I tell my children
every night to study and become ministers so they can steal lots of money,” he
laughed. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I
even love this country when we’re on the field, and everyone from a self-help
group for teen mothers to a monthly meeting of health care professionals condemns
the lack of generosity of donors. After
my speech on appropriate mental health care at work, I was asked why donors
weren’t paying doctors and nurses to do their jobs – that mental health would
be at an all-time high if people just had money. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I
responded with the abysmal mental health statistics from the West and asked
whether it would be possible for donors to give enough money to each suffering
group in the Congo? In Africa? My organization was doing its best to support
the integration of mental health in the form of medical care, trauma healing,
socio-economic reintegration, mediation, and counseling, but it was up to
individuals, organizations, and the state to reach consensus as to how to run
the country, and <i>money was not the answer</i>, especially in light of the idea of <a href="http://josh1-9-hakunamatata.blogspot.com/2017/10/unmentionables.html#more" target="_blank">franca ya munyama</a> and the rest of the conversation last week with my Congolese coordinator. [Synopsis: He professed pride at the <a href="http://aispo.org/en/progetti/congo-telemedicine-and-distance-learning-in-the-fomulac-hospital-of-katana-in-the-south-kivu-region/" target="_blank">long-established hospital service and convent</a> run by Belgians in a rural area - complete with consistent running hot water and electricity. Then he proceeded to laugh at the idea that the Congolese doctors, nurses, priests, and nuns could support the institution themselves - even at its current level, much less the level of improvement suggested by the project I linked above.]</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">“Your
organization is going to have a hard road,” my interlocutor muttered before
turning away. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">They
were right – having regular work hours was not going to help run a household of
10 hungry mouths and minds. But there
were other things that could… <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Mentalities
had to change. Conversations had to
change. Common practices had to
change. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">But
even I felt somewhat helpless telling this roomful of weathered men (and two
women) on weathered pews to take breaks, eat healthy, and have good
interpersonal relationships.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #222222; font-family: inherit;">But
it is enough for today.</span></div>
</div>
Kermithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01245298608185678247noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2448192503770270955.post-76167453007247214222017-10-06T07:58:00.000-06:002017-10-11T09:52:30.000-06:00Unmentionables <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">...It’s been a while.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">You’ll never believe what happened. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">My organization offered me a position after the ending of my placement,
even going so far to ask whether a certain salary would be acceptable. This nebulous offer (the second of its kind) felt
good but, as I sat on a moto for an hour to get to a health centre where we would
be carrying out a supervisory field mission, I had time to reflect on it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">As that happened to be a day on which being female and taking a long
moto ride just did not go well together, I decided I would rather set my head
on fire. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><br />
<a name='more'></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Thankfully, we arrived at our destination just before the rain hit
(otherwise I would have quit my voluntary position, as well as my thoroughly
involuntary one on the back of a moto, and crawled home), and started a
discussion with the head nurse and his nutritionist (who probably knew enough
about psychology between them to cover a small biscuit) about the focus groups
we were to be leading the next day.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">‘Focus group’ is actually a misnomer because it is associated with free
money offered for research of some sort.
However, since everything here is associated with free money, it really
doesn’t make a big difference. We were
really organising self-help groups to encourage resilience and partnerships
based on shared experiences. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Only they would much rather have helped themselves to free money to feed
their families. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">First, we had a group of teen mothers who were supposed to arrive at
8am, actually arrived at 9am, and were to be kept waiting until 11am (when our
donors would arrive, so they could see what excellent work we were doing). I used my subtle powers of persuasion
(identified by my mother as ‘godawful whining’) until my colleague agreed to
start the group therapy session around 9:30. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Unbeknownst to me, he also had a superpower – a motormouth that he
planned to use until our donors arrived.
Hours later, caught between an overwhelming disgust of outhouses and visions
of the Japanese flag, I finally had to choose the greater of the two
evils. When I returned, I delicately
indicated (through what my friends call ‘epileptic facial spasms’) that I was
not happy with the current situation.
Reluctantly, my colleague’s steam engine of thought ground to a halt at
11:30, and we encouraged the women to go home.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Luckily for him, they were not about to leave the room without some pay
for a hard day’s work of listening to how life could be spectacular even with a
baby clinging to each breast like a hairless koala. Despite our calm refusals, they belligerently
held onto this hope as strongly as those sweet babes, through our donors’
evaluation, and right through some individual counselling sessions. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I watched a spreading puddle around a toddler, sound asleep at his
mother’s feet and oblivious to his baby sister jabbing him in the head with a
stick, and gave thanks to each part of the Trinity that I was not a teen mother
in Central Africa.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXOs0wGAjysQ6_zUU11qy19eRwqLKyPf7q0mfphYzxSM2HhfcR8VO63gBTe7RBWzZ37y8vodn1dZNl3qqnplYe2P9F695uiei2I8H0hd3e_6nDv5pobQ5NtAWpPQkEX1RwBtIVDSD2EyU/s1600/CIMG4271.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXOs0wGAjysQ6_zUU11qy19eRwqLKyPf7q0mfphYzxSM2HhfcR8VO63gBTe7RBWzZ37y8vodn1dZNl3qqnplYe2P9F695uiei2I8H0hd3e_6nDv5pobQ5NtAWpPQkEX1RwBtIVDSD2EyU/s320/CIMG4271.JPG" width="320" /></span></a><span style="font-family: inherit;">But I’m getting ahead of myself.
The day before, when we arrived in that health zone, we’d had plans to
stay at the local boarding school. After
walking a mile and gaining at least 5 kilos in the form of sticky mud on our
shoes, we arrived just in time to escape the second thundershower. In the middle of that storm, we learned that
the rooms were full for the night. I
contemplated asking for a manger (cramps, contractions – potatoes/potatoes, if
you ask me), but gave up, sat under my wilting scarf and soggy hair, surrounded
by whispering teenage boys who didn’t know they were one pick-up line away from
death, and waited for dawn while my colleague harped on about <i>banyamulenge </i>(Congolese Tutsis) beside
me. Finally, one nurse said we could
stay in a convent. We were taken to a
priest, who also said we could stay in a convent. The priest then took us to the home he shared
with other male priests, deacons, and chaplains, and invited me to join the
convent. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I have thought about this in the past, but my mom (and, more recently,
my boyfriend) assures me it is a bad idea.
That evening, over a rich meal and flowing beer, I reflected that maybe
there were secrets about convents that none of us knew...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">...In order to discuss this in greater detail, and, uh, since I hadn’t
seen my boyfriend in a while (relationships warp all periods of time to be either
way too long or way too short – there is no in-between), I decided to meet him one
evening, one street away from home. [Totally
Unrelated Note: At the time, the city
was in a state of heightened security due to civil disobedience and rebel
activity in the south. In light of this,
our team had had an hour-long session to discuss security protocol that forbade
basically everything necessary to a relationship involving two private people
with full-time jobs, a focus on church involvement, and large, nosy families. Needless to say, I giggled a lot – due to how
irrelevant the session was to my life, you understand.]<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">...I regret nothing except lying to Carrottop, who thought I’d been
kidnapped, found me in a dark office (not doing anything I wouldn’t do with my mother
in the room, I swear), and hinted that This Was Not Okay (by shrieking it). <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">That I’m fine? That I’m not having sex? That I have no idea why the light switch is
not connected to the battery?<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Lying and putting yourself in possible
danger</i>, as it turned out, but let’s not
quibble. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Regardless, I felt like screaming the same thing, but for vastly
different reasons - the foremost being that I was escorted from the premises
and driven one street up to my house as though I’d been found in a jail cell
with a blood alcohol level that could fell a buffalo rather than fully clothed
in a locked office with a local across from a rocking wedding party. I was in such a snit that I had a break-up
speech planned for the next day - but then helped host a formal ‘Meet the
boyfriend you caught me sneaking around with’ dinner party with the family
instead. In the absence of God striking
me down with a lightning bolt, Carrottop was forced to write an Incident Report
that included Unmentionable Words that would end up in our Grandpa’s hallowed inbox,
<i>despite the fact that there was no
incident and dinner had been a bribe to keep her big mouth shut.</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">As though this was not enough, our resident rat also made a guest
appearance. He had, in fact, been the
silent listener to our conversations, the skittering presence in our quiet
moments, the noisy chewer behind the fridge all along, though I thought I’d
been pretty dedicated about keeping our food out of reach. Privately, I’d hoped to live peaceably with Ratilla
the Hungry (or, alternatively, that he’d be electrocuted so I could sell him to
my colleague), but Butters seemed disturbed to find the fridge cord nearly
chewed through. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">At least he had warned me in advance that he’d lined some rat traps with
peanut butter or there would have been another Incident Report to write. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">That night, Ratilla woke me at 4am to profess his disappointment in our
actions (particularly in closing the garbage can), and that he would also be forced to write a report about this, but slipped away when I
shone my cellphone around the room and keened desperately. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Work the next morning came in the aftermath of this trauma. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">“We must buy 3 flit shap!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I squinted. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">“$5 per flit shap - 3 flit shap!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">Lip whats?! Rat traps?!
Peanut butter!<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">In the end, however, I agreed that we would probably need 3 flip
charts. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">It was a little bit more difficult to understand that locals referred to
aid as <i>franca ya munyama</i>, or <i>devil’s money</i>. It wasn’t seen as ‘real’ money. In fact, it had to be used quickly - it could
be wasted, given away, <i>anything</i>...
because it couldn’t serve any good. It
was to be obtained at any cost, but it couldn’t be put to good use – it didn’t
count, in essence. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">...Do you think donors plan the sustainability of their projects with this
belief in mind? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I sat and listened to a coworker disparaging some practices of his own
countrymen – that they would litter because the country had no value, that they
would waste because the money had no value – and wondered how any of this could
possibly work... </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
Kermithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01245298608185678247noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2448192503770270955.post-36405753388646484842017-09-24T11:25:00.000-06:002017-09-24T11:25:50.235-06:00What Happened – Part II<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIgjQ3GaV-o0ZLFwaF-M6MGo3vEWKbRpIzkAUWgWMefjBvJBRSrPkxfiXncfhgTCGxk3gXXSzWcYHcHX8Py6rzWYdHdqzj1e1LB2HEcQJ330pLvMfGV1c3gx6OlngM_2xNdakUJ7WrQfM/s1600/CIMG4240.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIgjQ3GaV-o0ZLFwaF-M6MGo3vEWKbRpIzkAUWgWMefjBvJBRSrPkxfiXncfhgTCGxk3gXXSzWcYHcHX8Py6rzWYdHdqzj1e1LB2HEcQJ330pLvMfGV1c3gx6OlngM_2xNdakUJ7WrQfM/s320/CIMG4240.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is a detriment to anyone's<br />mental health</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">O</span></span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;">n that same field visit, I faced a room of around 20 seniors who had
been abandoned by their families for having outlived their usefulness.</span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;">At the end of my scattered speech about strength,
catharsis, and encouragement in togetherness (all translated into </span><i style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;">Maashi</i><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;"> and possibly stalagmites, capitalism,
and encephalopathy in Togo), and much ululation and clapping, I prepared to
leave and wondered who was supposed to be treating whom.</span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;">At the door, I was halted by a decrepit old
woman with her feet wrapped in square blocks of what looked like dinner
napkins.</span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;">After speaking forcefully to my
translator, she turned to me, grasped my hand with unexpected strength, and
made a speech that ended with pointing firmly at her cheekbone.</span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;">As I have been eating deep-fried sweet bread
for quite some time now, I decided she must be calling me out on my skincare
routine.</span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;">I opened my mouth to answer in
Swahili--</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">“She’s thanking you for coming.
And she’s telling you she’s blind.”<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></span><br />
<a name='more'></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;">I closed my mouth.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">And continued to keep it mainly closed as we bribed the director of the
health zone to let us bring mental health care services at a local level. Despite continuous remonstrations against the
nurses and community leaders in his zone for not continuing the work of the
last project (due to the lack of payment), the director himself apparently would
not help us until he’d received his share.
I listened to my colleague explaining this to me. As I’d listened when I learned that we paid
warlords in resources in order to help the people they oppressed. And I listened. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">“The foreigners want to do so much, but they just don’t bring enough
money! Why do they want to do so
much?! They should choose a smaller
area, less people!”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">“Yes, in order to do a good job!”
This came from the provincial inspector.
<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I stared at him, this man who worked for the state, which <i>should have been paying its own damn doctors
and nurses</i>. And I listened. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">“People <i>need </i>money to work!”
he continued. “They can’t just do it for
free! You really should talk to your
donors,” he said, turning to my colleague, who agreed. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">“But we’re not asking them to do <i>more
</i>work,” I interjected through gritted teeth that looked like a smile. “We’re just asking them to <i>report </i>mental health cases, <i>refer</i> them to our psychologists, and
then <i>continue</i> to do that even when
the project is finished.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">“Even one more form is extra work,” I was told firmly. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Which is how we, as a group, both deplored the fact that people wouldn’t
work without extra incentive (even when the work provided better care for
patients – what a shame!) <i>and </i>offered
an incentive without which the work would not begin. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">…It’s a wonder that I’m so cynical and angry all the time, or why I have
a hard time understanding people… <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhCykbchoAxNrs4pWIV0HvHfTIQR6VXZ8TxzobKhrG6zzqzKKotUyBu4TF50h6x7biSA07h4_dqIHjXY-KRL1Xhb1zXmf_iR5CGfbQN2nvcsuITmUEMhRcI5v2VYHV4usTIh8q_ijq4jo/s1600/CIMG4267.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhCykbchoAxNrs4pWIV0HvHfTIQR6VXZ8TxzobKhrG6zzqzKKotUyBu4TF50h6x7biSA07h4_dqIHjXY-KRL1Xhb1zXmf_iR5CGfbQN2nvcsuITmUEMhRcI5v2VYHV4usTIh8q_ijq4jo/s320/CIMG4267.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Speaking of rats, this was an exciting find for my friend and<br />his children at home</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;">On the other hand, I did have some great conversation with my
colleagues, who disagreed with me on all these issues, but were happy to
discuss everything from politics to tribalism to magic.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">“My friend told me that people think Indians are sorcerers – hah--”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">“Yeah, like, 90% are.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">“--aa-<i>excuse me?!</i>”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">“Well, you might be saved because you’re a Christian.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">“<i>Might be?!</i>”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Which sparked a lively debate on the life and times of <i>kimbilikiti </i>– a man who needed to be appeased
with blood and could make trees talk. I
tried to explain about group psychology, fear, and ventriloquism, but when the local
militia apparently has an Asterix-like potion (which comes with a list of <i>Thou shalt not</i>s that guarantee immunity
from bullets… as long as you, say, never think of women), there’s nothing that
I (as a believer of a big bearded guy in the sky) can add to the conversation. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">But our driver (being from a magical tribe himself) clearly decided I
wasn’t much good as a sorceress, as he invited me to his house to meet his wife
and growing family of 10 children in a last-ditch effort to convince me that
God wanted us to ‘fill the earth.’ Only
three were at home, one shyer the next, and the shyest still in the womb. I had to climb crumbling rocks and
stairs-that-weren’t to reach two very grimy children, a very happy old man, and
a very tired mother, who graciously invited me into their tiny, gleaming living
room. Hunting desperately for a topic
other than birth control, I blurted that I couldn’t see any wedding pictures. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">In retrospect, a half-hour later, this was a bad move. In Congo, there are at least four wedding ceremonies:
the presentation of the dowry, the civil service, the religious service, and
the reception. I am currently defending my
right to 0-2 of these services (I plan to casually introduce the topic of a
hysterectomy when he actually proposes), and the heavily pregnant woman handing
me one stack of sepia photos after another was not helping the prosecution’s
case. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">When we finally escaped, I was firmer than ever in my certainty that more
than three children would kill me dead, and just wanted to be in my blissfully
silent office with my computer. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">On our compound, our cleaner greeted me as usual in her conception of
English, which reminded me that to locals I sound like a choking goat. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">“Ow-a-uu?”<br />
“I’m fine - thanks.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">She looked at me encouragingly. <i>C'mon! You can do it!</i><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">“…And how are you,” I finished dutifully. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">“Iym-fyi.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">“It’s hot!” I continued, because hope springs eternal. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">“It twat!”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">“IT’SSS – HOTTT!”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">“OHH YESHH!”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I have no idea where that came from, but then this is basically my
reaction to most things that happen here. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="https://josh1-9-hakunamatata.blogspot.com/2017/09/what-happened-part-i-having-to-keep.html" target="_blank">Part I</a></span></span></div>
</div>
Kermithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01245298608185678247noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2448192503770270955.post-89311781424208823892017-09-14T05:19:00.000-06:002017-12-17T01:25:08.806-07:00What Happened – Part I<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;">Having to keep secrets makes me less of a writer. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;">Staying out late, having to be let into our building by Butter’s smirk
and pretend-casual, “So did you have a hot date? Did you kiss?!” is a level of punishment that
I don’t deserve. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;">Yes, and no, respectively.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;">Throwing my newly-washed fit from our fourth-floor drying line was
likewise undeserved - although he claimed it was preemptive revenge for the next
night, when he had to step out of the shower to let me into our building again. It’s a good thing friendship is all about
keeping score. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"></span></span><br />
<a name='more'></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">But how do you quantify being invited to help someone purify </span><i style="font-size: 12pt;">bidon </i><span style="font-size: 12pt;">water using a tea strainer and a
small basin?</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;">“But you can <i>see </i>if the water
is dirty and <i>not use that one</i>,” I
gasped through my giggles. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;">“Here, you have to do it like this!” he insisted, receiving a
particularly bright flash of genius that blinded him to the insanity of holding
a tea strainer over a <i>bidon </i>like a
toupee in a hurricane. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;">Though weak from laughter, I heroically tried to help him, only to have
him smack my hands away. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;">“I’m going to do it with or without your help!” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-size: 12pt;">It </span></i><span style="font-size: 12pt;">being
hoisting a 20L bidon in one arm and pouring it through a tea strainer (held in
the other hand) into a shallow basin on the floor while your roommate asphyxiates
on the floor beside you. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;">The dry season affects us all differently. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLo0FnxhtoUOuJFUUEsXO8FwcOWXP6ArBpXql4oSJRI4phZ4_1r71klr6QKbPFN9Q_9kq9GwmPWlrMT8_i077gicRKn5oC-6aDfgXLiYkpbKvt_W7uu-872pIpRZiw7osfPG90IVusWSo/s1600/CIMG4268.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLo0FnxhtoUOuJFUUEsXO8FwcOWXP6ArBpXql4oSJRI4phZ4_1r71klr6QKbPFN9Q_9kq9GwmPWlrMT8_i077gicRKn5oC-6aDfgXLiYkpbKvt_W7uu-872pIpRZiw7osfPG90IVusWSo/s320/CIMG4268.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Cooking the bathwater</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;">Even the onset of the rainy season has not seen a change in our power
situation – we now have no power from around 3:30pm-9:10pm. Which is when normal people would be cooking
for their families after a day of work or school. Which is a much better time to have </span><i style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;">no light or power </i><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;">than during the day,
when </span><i style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;">the sun exists</i><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;">. Apparently, we used to have a great power
schedule because an official from the electricity company used to live in our
area. He’s now moved to a richer part of
town, and it seems all the electrons are attracted to him there. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;">But I’ve been able to escape the last few weeks of the dry season due to
a series of retreats with my church, with our organization’s women, with our
team members… All of which were blessed
times of fun and prayer. Including when
a relative of one of my church members explained to me the benefits of Branham’s
revelation to the masses and wanted to know how I, personally, specifically,
felt about condoms. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span style="font-size: 12pt;">No comment.</span></i><span style="font-size: 12pt;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;">…Actually, lots of comments, but only due to Carrottop’s fortifying
presence across the table, without which I would have muttered into my potatoes
that I was a Christian and that the Bible was kind of cool. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;">The women’s retreat was much more Biblical and much less awkward – aside
from when, you know, I suggested that women also bear some responsibility (not
in being harassed or raped, but) in ensuring their and each other’s safety,
which involves not being very friendly (headphones and sunglasses are great
accessories), not giving their numbers out, not taking unknown phone calls, or
not wearing a fake wedding band for the long-term goal of teaching men that
sometimes women are just not interested because (surprise!) they are just not
interested. While I know that I am
spineless, give out my number on a fairly regular basis, and have a shameful
tendency to smile, I also know that by doing these things, I may be encouraging
a short, pot-bellied man to think he has a snowball’s chance in hell with
me. Though I am a strong believer in the
fact that men should just not be idiots, I also feel that women should not be
idiots – I’m equal opportunity that way.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;">Thankfully, I also learned about song, love, marriage, and about the
beauty and burden of petals and prickles…
But mainly I learned that towns in Rwanda have two names - pre- and
post-new world order – and that intonation and clarification are important. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;">“We should turn now.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;">You were just imitating a hibernating bear
and now you want to turn left?!<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;">“Um. Should we turn?”<br />
“Are we going there?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;">“Okay.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;">“Okay.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;">What just happened. Have I forgotten English again? I’ll seem so neurotic if I ask them to repeat
something they’ve both obviously understood...
I'll show them I can be normal. I’ll
show them all! <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;">I was wrong on many levels. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;">Despite knowing that our hotel was on the lake and that we had left the
lake far behind, we continued for about a half an hour before stopping to ask
for directions. On the way back, we
picked up a couple of our teammates (fresh from a successful celebration of a
generous donation of school uniforms for children in an IDP camp) like it was
part of our master plan. Carrottop also
accepted responsibility for not telling us about the new town names, even
though I’m certain she told us last time and I just totally forgot. In any case, I have long known and made known
the fact that directions mean nothing to me, so I refuse to accept any blame
for this whatsoever. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;">If I’m in charge of a trip, I will do my best to find out about all
directions, papers, stamps, and money at least a day in advance using all the
wonderful human resources I have at my disposal (mainly I_TJ females who also
feel that not-knowing is like showing up to work on the Starship Enterprise in a red shirt). This is to, for example, avoid arriving at
1pm to make a presentation that should have taken place at 9am. To avoid that horrifying flush of
embarrassment in standing in front of fifty irritated-but-intrigued community leaders
who want to know about biopsychology, but also whether the speaker is a <i>Madame </i>or a <i>Mademoiselle</i>. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="http://josh1-9-hakunamatata.blogspot.com/2017/09/what-happened-part-ii.html" target="_blank">Part II</a> </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
Kermithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01245298608185678247noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2448192503770270955.post-16929948825449621282017-08-28T08:22:00.001-06:002017-10-09T07:35:20.894-06:00The Difference<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">N2O has
given up being worried about my civil status and instead wants to make sure I’m
not going to be homeless when I go back to Canada.</span><span style="font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-size: 12pt;">I assured her that I have some money tucked
away and would be able to find a job soon, but she seemed unconvinced.</span><span style="font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-size: 12pt;">She may have been trying to get me to start a
business in order to name herself my partner, but I like to think she just
thought I was a helpless little bird who couldn’t possibly make it in the world
without Mobutu’s </span><i style="font-size: 12pt;">Debrouillez-vous </i><span style="font-size: 12pt;">speech.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"></span></span><br />
<a name='more'></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;">I
appreciated the encouragement, but would have been a lot happier if I knew for
certain – beyond the shadow of a doubt – that my presence here was making a
difference. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12.0pt;">Even a
small one. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12.0pt;">But I
don’t. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12.0pt;">I
recently heard a story of a health care project proposal that was
approved. It was a three-year, long-term
development project that is supposed to extend the reach of mental health
support within the country by promoting a full-time psychologist on hospital
staff. Each year would involve the
hiring of three new psychologists in three health centres, and the gradual
decrease of salary support as the hospital and patients adapted to paying for
professional mental health care. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12.0pt;">As of the
first year, the tally is 0 clinical psychologists. Instead, the project has hired a doctor, a
nurse, and likely an unidentified family obligation (UFO) – the first two have
received 18 hours of training on how to treat patients presenting with mental
illness. The last may well be a dairy
farmer. Not to say that dairy farmers can’t
deal with crazy people (Holla, Grandpa!), but I think they need to have a
special skill set. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12.0pt;">When I got
home, I tried to explain to Butters and Timbit why I was so frustrated... How, instead of promoting the hiring and
training of certified professionals, we were more interested in promoting
family members, which devalues education.
How, instead of promoting mental health care, we were interested in
money, which devalues the aid system.
How, instead of a project that would exemplify the need for clinical
psychologists to deal with war-related trauma in this region, we might instead
prove how useless this service was. How,
instead of ensuring the sustainability of a service, we were beginning in the
full knowledge that it would never be completed. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12.0pt;">Timbit
provided the listening ear; Butters, the answers I didn’t want to hear. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12.0pt;">“It isn’t
<i>my </i>responsibility! <i>I </i>don’t
have to--”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12.0pt;">“You
don’t actually <i>have </i>to<i> </i>do anything. You could just kill yourself.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12.0pt;">I’m not
sure why this was so funny, but it was.
I tried to choke back giggles as Timbit reprimanded Butters for being a
terrible person (she’ll give up soon and join us eventually). I didn’t expect to like living with two
roommates, but... well, I’m doing it.
There was even a mini-rainy season – since the volcano trip went so well
and you can’t have perfection – and I was over the moon that we finally had
water in our tank. ...Until the taps ran
black water which we used for flushing for the next few days. Carrottop, as usually the only glorious voice
of reason in my immediate surroundings, noted that we should be able to use the
tank water soon, as long as we let the dirt settle... <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12.0pt;">As
Butters vehemently (for him) refused such blasphemy, I stared out the window
and hoped I wouldn’t have to admit that I’d been using this system already so
that he could take showers with the <i>bidon
</i>water – only marginally cleaner, in my mind. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12.0pt;">He utterly
ignores this angelic sacrifice on my part and repays me by holding me hostage
to conversations. For example, by
mumbling the word ‘peanuts’ and then subjecting me to a lengthy monologue regarding
a great pianist he’d once heard about. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12.0pt;">My life
is horrifying. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12.0pt;">Which is
why I take small joys wherever I can find them - for example, when a phone
credit seller said I walked like a local.
I was unsure as to what this could possibly mean, but he explained that
he’d seen me often on the street and I didn’t seem intimidated. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12.0pt;">I deserve
a Golden Globe more than Leonardo DiCaprio. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12.0pt;">But it is
true that I take this city to be my home and have a very hard time imagining
that I’m not safe. That nearly everyone
is after my money, certainly, but after my life? Which is why I find it so odd when locals
identify me as a stranger and run about shrieking my race. I live here – it’s mine. To the extent that I wouldn’t really want to
work in Burundi or Rwanda if I had the chance for the same reason that I
wouldn’t really want to work in Pakistan, China, or Japan. I have adopted certain countries as my own
because they have taken pieces of me and replaced them with the memories and
lessons of others. While it is true that
I will never be Congolese, I still belong here. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12.0pt;">I am
different, but I wonder if it’s enough to make a difference. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12.0pt;">At work
one day, we were discussing English classes with a new student. I’d set up a few ground rules about
timeliness, homework, and the use of French/Swahili in class (mainly to ensure
that I had a regular breakfast of the deep-fried bread that I so love). Our accountant fully agreed with a
reward/punishment system, but wanted it to be much more firm. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12.0pt;">“If you
speak French or Swahili--”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12.0pt;">“You must
buy <i>ndazi</i>!” one of my other students
interjected. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12.0pt;">“No! I will take you by here!” she insisted, grabbing
her throat. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12.0pt;">As I
curled up in my chair, wheezing with laughter, I reflected that my
peacebuilding skills could use some work. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12.0pt;">I am
different. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">And I
have to believe that is enough. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
Kermithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01245298608185678247noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2448192503770270955.post-18320165776891805082017-08-22T03:29:00.001-06:002017-08-25T07:34:54.492-06:00Rain, Forest, Rain!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">“You shouldn’t be so scared to die!”</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I goggled at our accountant. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">“We’re all going to die one day!
You can’t escape it,” she continued earnestly, mistaking my exasperated
wrath for an epiphany that I wasn’t actually Peter Pan. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">This was just one of the many, many times I’d been accused of being
scared to go somewhere or do something when the reality is that I’m just too dumb
and inexperienced to feel fear. Instead
I try to base my decisions less on the emotional roller coasters around me and more on the facts people share – assuming that they’re being honest
about the information they have at their disposal. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">This is a stupid assumption. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></span></div>
<a name='more'></a><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;">So I watched an escape from Central Prison, stayed home for a week
during which protests and </span><i style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;">Ville Mort</i><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;">
had been planned, took a boat to Goma, climbed up and down a volcano, took another
boat ride during which cholera was nowhere near the biggest problem, and then
heard I should pack an emergency bag in case we have to leave the country.</span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;">Throughout all this, coworkers, fellow church
members, and pedestrians displayed a level of calm heretofore only known by
fetuses.</span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;">While I know this means very
little in a context of political and economic instability, I also find it hard
to hear that I’m both being careless about my safety and that I’m terrified of
death </span><i style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;">– on the same day.</i><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I know now that war and terror can occur with the same ease as noting
that “Burundian girls are cheap nowadays,” but I cannot mentally and physically
prepare myself for all possible repercussions every time one of our leaders has
heartburn. So I’m thankful that some
things stay consistent. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">The girls downstairs still take time from God’s work of washing and cooking the entire
day to come and visit us sometimes. Our landlord now has 4 housemaids
for his family of 5 - each one smaller than the last (for easier stacking and storage, I assume) - and a guy who
washes his car. For my fellow
Edmontosauruses: this is the African equivalent of being the upper crust of Ft. McMurray. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Our landlord’s elder daughter, a gap-toothed beauty who could use some
lessons in politesse (including that one shouldn’t bang on the neighbours’ door
after 9pm and then scream that they are impolite because they won’t let one in
to sift through their belongings like a demanding beggar), once snuck in with
our electrician and began her usual routine of going through our rooms. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">“I’ll come here on my birthday,” she decided. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;">Good idea; it’ll be funnier to refuse you then. </span></i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">“Can I have this?” she asked, indicating Butter’s whole-wheat pasta
again. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">“…It’s not cooked.” <i>You gremlin. <o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">“I have many teeth,” she lisped, displaying very little evidence for this claim. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Choking back giggles, I gave the little beast a few noodles and pushed
her out the door. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Our family life is going much better; we’ve had a visit from our Area
Directors (who live in Rwanda), we celebrated the birthday of one my
favourite people (I’d had no idea we were gathering for Grandpa – he and his
wife usually feed and love us and I’d thought Carrottop was joking in her usual
deadpan way), and we went to see gorillas in the rainforest!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">The morning started out well, but by the time we arrived in the park,
the clouds were low and grey. The
informative briefing session outlined the founding of the park and the gorilla families and disputes. The best
part of this was that the facilitator spoke to us in English and I couldn’t
always tell when he was talking about the gorillas and when he was talking
about the founders and workers of the park – this is a level of dedication to
animal life that I probably will never achieve.
His science, however, as he tried to assure us that a silverback mating
with his daughter or sister was perfectly fine due to their diet (“The leaves
protect from taboo!”) may have been slightly faulty – again, fine attention to
detail, though. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Then we waited at the lodge while the rain poured and
compared the sizes of the pregnancies and hunchbacks created by our raincoats
over our backpacks, cameras, phones, and snacks. When the skies cleared</span></span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;">, we headed off in a pickup truck with two benches
in the back. After some time sitting at
the edge of my seat and gazing longingly up at the tiny park ranger standing
beside me in the desperate hope that he would understand my heart’s deepest desire,
I could hold back no longer.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">“Um… Can I stand too?”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I was slapped by a wet branch once, but this was nowhere near enough to
dampen my euphoria. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Upon arrival, the rain started up again; a few soggy feet into the thick
forest, we were told to turn back and take shelter at a post for soldiers. They’d built a lovely little fire, but I knew
my jeans and shoes would suffer this trip – there was no point in fighting
it. Instead, I fought the entire time to
tie my satchel higher up on my shoulder with cold, wet fingers so that my
passport and camera would be safe. Two
minutes into our soggy walk back into the forest, I felt the knot loosen and
slip so that my bag was hanging below my raincoat again. I gave up and, thanks to our hardworking park rangers and their machetes, forged ahead. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Directly into a swamp. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Filled with ROUSes (Reeds Of Unusual Sharpness). <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiraCdwcZUAbxUU2BgAPQ0vnS11uGvAkDQNqxnWRCGTIveGHK5G6003Gitq5gen4VyohGLH8mYcoISOmtEOvmE3oCun3GKKBXc_lveNO46WacvdO7tCjGQxUS7QRj5XIWmuIQ6LahBxXCo/s1600/CIMG4069.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiraCdwcZUAbxUU2BgAPQ0vnS11uGvAkDQNqxnWRCGTIveGHK5G6003Gitq5gen4VyohGLH8mYcoISOmtEOvmE3oCun3GKKBXc_lveNO46WacvdO7tCjGQxUS7QRj5XIWmuIQ6LahBxXCo/s320/CIMG4069.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Storm</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNqcJONm7LsC-VXEGlZdZ5djegKbHdTEmSVaklkgroK-LkbKGKdA69Kc9N0o71jDOI9Ppj4_96Npej6PUq_X_re_rccob1vB19zhtwy2MBin33dtkCr3Q9aEwIxKbNgB4FZMkipH-M6A4/s1600/CIMG4070.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNqcJONm7LsC-VXEGlZdZ5djegKbHdTEmSVaklkgroK-LkbKGKdA69Kc9N0o71jDOI9Ppj4_96Npej6PUq_X_re_rccob1vB19zhtwy2MBin33dtkCr3Q9aEwIxKbNgB4FZMkipH-M6A4/s320/CIMG4070.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Storm - continued</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKwr8QZYXC8fphRszfZs3R2jy67j6kvYJ9wYiNdvJfF9YJXSEfn2Uxh7KH4dzt6eUVslwHUigdB1ylk6hfqqmVYz4FVnuE3Gq7m7XFjz1-1qEO4ebY2UdJTyZzwaxcc91Yc_KI7-7xvcI/s1600/CIMG4080.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKwr8QZYXC8fphRszfZs3R2jy67j6kvYJ9wYiNdvJfF9YJXSEfn2Uxh7KH4dzt6eUVslwHUigdB1ylk6hfqqmVYz4FVnuE3Gq7m7XFjz1-1qEO4ebY2UdJTyZzwaxcc91Yc_KI7-7xvcI/s320/CIMG4080.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The road goes ever on and on...</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhI3uSa3cSBJU_XN1A0gHSYDRbzxfgFw_NHKKQsYy4GPUym7KvqJDF9h1uAwYodDZv70KvMvq0QpwTPQFrUOhxBIkcDSgLQgjn6q7c0XwJhe9e2K-hFagV4lcs6q7phIXo0aRSCBKeHcAs/s1600/CIMG4089.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhI3uSa3cSBJU_XN1A0gHSYDRbzxfgFw_NHKKQsYy4GPUym7KvqJDF9h1uAwYodDZv70KvMvq0QpwTPQFrUOhxBIkcDSgLQgjn6q7c0XwJhe9e2K-hFagV4lcs6q7phIXo0aRSCBKeHcAs/s320/CIMG4089.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And so do we</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaalkKGhPoXBDukPFvaaoQc8dobrWoUkxQohJQhQVgg3pjYryEJUlwFlS2EBVbmwhNdmy04Gkbuv8prwVZkkpd3vWl19c_K5cOcgUug-ncy2bAmoZwT1bNxM8N-k5ix0dNY1OywVMqjlc/s1600/CIMG4092.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaalkKGhPoXBDukPFvaaoQc8dobrWoUkxQohJQhQVgg3pjYryEJUlwFlS2EBVbmwhNdmy04Gkbuv8prwVZkkpd3vWl19c_K5cOcgUug-ncy2bAmoZwT1bNxM8N-k5ix0dNY1OywVMqjlc/s320/CIMG4092.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The goal was not to stay dry;<br />
it was to get less wet</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKHTiHOBIRnhuLsF87yYnOOvYkOBUJak8utkjqLAxC08W4jRk1jbfBOhZW8diMNeQt-4OHuvCceqRLFzwNWzjQpABw4sVeDwHN1vyPyFq6xTEzOzijPX7YAZRvQdFSDRcbpM3-EYnn9NM/s1600/CIMG4100.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKHTiHOBIRnhuLsF87yYnOOvYkOBUJak8utkjqLAxC08W4jRk1jbfBOhZW8diMNeQt-4OHuvCceqRLFzwNWzjQpABw4sVeDwHN1vyPyFq6xTEzOzijPX7YAZRvQdFSDRcbpM3-EYnn9NM/s320/CIMG4100.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A man's gotta eat. And eat. And eat.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAIkWUtoJ5ZGMQjT9WyYDdGPzdinLDeUGHYCfPXUxVQ5hDL3kIw37dgYslrACYtxaVvZrwzMVjawflAiWScJXxQP4AoSPDIzPaqvMcqDlbDFaT-6pbl96PVcuCi6y7rEoFOeuzOrGI-FE/s1600/CIMG4114.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAIkWUtoJ5ZGMQjT9WyYDdGPzdinLDeUGHYCfPXUxVQ5hDL3kIw37dgYslrACYtxaVvZrwzMVjawflAiWScJXxQP4AoSPDIzPaqvMcqDlbDFaT-6pbl96PVcuCi6y7rEoFOeuzOrGI-FE/s320/CIMG4114.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My view -<br />
barring a few highs and lows</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYs23fk9iPhNRwW-M08mAc1aKTyOwyerhs1p5VMGrhjSIE1lDbx-hYui-mLcyHdUzZBsf_N04fLAMY-F2qAzk56r9TdEkYuyab65aHfH0CkuiDdAw_K9KuVxftgk7_Wmq4FE1WyY7GULU/s1600/CIMG4141.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYs23fk9iPhNRwW-M08mAc1aKTyOwyerhs1p5VMGrhjSIE1lDbx-hYui-mLcyHdUzZBsf_N04fLAMY-F2qAzk56r9TdEkYuyab65aHfH0CkuiDdAw_K9KuVxftgk7_Wmq4FE1WyY7GULU/s320/CIMG4141.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Emerging from the underbrush<br />
like the privileged troopers we are -<br />
at least half an hour after hearing<br />
that the road was 10 minutes away</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">We tramped up and down these reeds (sometimes way, way down into the
water), on the hunt for any stray gorillas.
Thankfully, all of us are good sports who made it through with smiles. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">(I cannot tell a lie, some of us are pessimistic whiners, but I think we
know our faults and try to overcome them.
Pessimistic Whiner is kind of my job title, but I was still on a high
from the pickup truck.)<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">In the end, we did see the silverback as well as his favourite female
with their little taboo-less love child. She got a little feisty when we got too close,
but was placated by the 'All Izz Well' heart-patting that I have decided to adopt every time life overwhelmes me (i.e. when I enter our kitchen every morning). The silverback, as all men everywhere
in the history of all time, seemed so single-minded in his search for the tiny
nub of the root of the reeds that I don’t think he would have cared if we’d set
him up with spotlights and a top hat. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">…And all the while, as the members of this majestic, wide-eyed little
family edged themselves deeper and deeper into the reeds away from us, I imagined
how I’d feel if amateur photographers showed up unannounced to the apartment on
a Saturday while I was spending some quality time with my fridge… <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">…and chucked used tissues or the plastic seals of water bottles in my
living room. The tissue was first and
landed a little too far under my horrified gaze; after that, I was bound and
determined to track any litterbugs.
After one short break during which Grandma and Grandpa offered us
chocolate like the angels they are, I gathered all the wrappers to <s> lick </s> throw away later. I noticed one of our rangers busily digging a
hole and was vaguely worried about what he planned to do in it in full view of
the rest of us, but decided it was none of my business. Then he tapped my arm and smilingly invited me
to bury the slick wrappers bunched in my fist. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Because the best way to deal with long-lasting problems
is to bury them and move on. If you can’t
see it, you don’t have to talk about it, and everything still looks the
same. And when death comes in a few
years, no one will know why – but we’ll keep fertilizing the trees and adding
fences and increasing methods and means to ensure growth. <o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">As long as we don’t talk about the garbage
underneath. It’s got to go
somewhere. What difference does it
make? It’s just so little… Everyone does it… It’s the way we’ve always done it…</span></span></i><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;">I pushed the wrappers into my soggy bag and politely refused. </span><i style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;"> </i></div>
</div>
Kermithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01245298608185678247noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2448192503770270955.post-60817253272931336332017-08-16T11:49:00.002-06:002017-08-16T11:49:39.777-06:00Mounting Doom – Part III<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">We arrived home, I settled down to scribble memories, and my friend had
the first crack at a hot shower to remove the grit of Nyiragongo from her
skin. Around an hour after arriving,
when I was stepping out of a steamy shower, running my hands fondly over the
rock wall and mirrors of the dream bathroom, I heard the faint patter of rain
outside. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><br />
<a name='more'></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I was initially paralysed by relief that we hadn’t been stuck half-on a
steep volcano in the pouring rain, then overcome with joy that we were home and
scrubbed clean. Then came the
frustration that Bukavu, just hours away, was probably still dry as a
bone. I drowned my sorrows in a mug of
coffee as big as my head as my friend and I read quietly for hours on the front
porch.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikvsruwkpoSrmMvHqx3wsXAK_dg2xoE7DNlCKeOJ1SZvz62Fmb7wc7HdhshTUjh-eNNehz9zdthNLIiqYvTBl7S93rw760CNPHEjpLvn0STqq_ig5mNyYWfv6hBzHZ0Xax__6CbIuqFMQ/s1600/CIMG3980.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikvsruwkpoSrmMvHqx3wsXAK_dg2xoE7DNlCKeOJ1SZvz62Fmb7wc7HdhshTUjh-eNNehz9zdthNLIiqYvTBl7S93rw760CNPHEjpLvn0STqq_ig5mNyYWfv6hBzHZ0Xax__6CbIuqFMQ/s200/CIMG3980.JPG" width="200" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: small;">The view</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: inherit;">Heaven exists.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: inherit;">And it is mainly populated by Dutch Christians – who, by the way, are
all preternaturally attractive and intelligent.
After dinner with a few fine specimens, I turned my thoughts toward the
next day. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: inherit;">I was slightly worried about how I’d get back to Bukavu; I’d been
planning to take a new taxi service through Rwanda, but everyone seemed leery
of it. The port was fairly close and apparently
the 6-hr boat ride was so lovely that nobody seemed to want to try another method. I soon gave in because I didn’t really care either
way; my life motto is less <i>If it ain’t
broke don’t fix it </i>and more <i>It will
break, and when it does, there’s always duct tape.</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: inherit;">Waiting in the heaving crowd that passes for a line at the ticket booth,
I held on to my passport and phone for dear life (as two friends had had to pay
for the return of both these items in the past week) and waited for my turn –
nearly on top of a small woman in front of me to prevent the entire population
of Goma from elbowing my spineless self aside.
However, I was identified as a <i>mzungu</i>
and pulled out for a fast track fairly quickly.
I hate this practice, but it’s hard to pretend stone deafness when the
crowd swallows and regurgitates you at the feet of the governmental official
who’s been screaming your race for the past 5 minutes. I handed over my passport, weeping on the
inside, crowd-surfed back to retrieve my luggage, and somehow ended up in
conversation with another government official in a track suit who’d remembered
me from my arrival on Thursday.
Complaining as I usually do, I mentioned that the line would work better
if it was actually a line; he sped off to the ticket booth, evidently on a
mission to ensure this, while I stared after him in mute shock. After a few careful evasions of giving out my
number, I found myself with my passport, phone, and luggage in the dining room,
which was the boat’s overflow cabin. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: inherit;">I was surrounded by two mothers with six children between them, all
under the age of 10. The eldest took
care of the one who couldn’t yet walk, so I suppose the system worked somehow. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: inherit;">It was hell and mealtime was worse.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: inherit;">I want fish!
No, I want chicken! I want
both! I want neither! Baby Luce is eating a tissue!<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: inherit;">Baby Luce had a superhuman ability to create and ingest tissue -
apparently preferring it to the breast milk and sour milk mix she was receiving
and promptly vomiting - but the others settled down once they were liberally
coated in flying lettuce and mayonnaise.
Unfortunately, by that point I had already decided to get a radical
hysterectomy and file it as a business expense.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: inherit;">One mother, her hair seeming to have lost a glorious battle to the death
with a mole, looked at the time, at me, and said that this trip would last an
eternity. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: inherit;">Hey, you’re the one who thought recreating Noah’s ark
was more efficient than family planning, birth control, or a bus, so don’t even
pretend to be the victim here. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: inherit;">At first, I was left alone, but my lap apparently had a flashing vacancy
sign to one awed little girl, the magical Baby Luce, and eventually all the
other children as the boat faced one emergency after another. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: inherit;">First, there were screams from somewhere below deck. That time, the mothers grabbed all the
children and flooded to the rails with most of the rest of the passengers while
I, the sole foreigner, calmly waited for death beside a large cupboard of life
jackets. One little girl with a pretty
dress and Down’s syndrome began eating her neighbour’s plate of fish and fries –
I admired this pragmatism and once again resolved to undergo psychological
testing when I got home. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: inherit;">Some time later, I discovered that there had been a fire. I’m not sure that I would have done anything
differently if I’d known, but I might have been marginally more worried – over
whether I should let Carrottop and Grandpa know, as they are my current largest
stressors. The two moms shared that the
whole family was in here and could I imagine not leaving anyone behind in the
world?! I decided to use that very
phrase to broach the topic of my impending hysterectomy with my persistent
suitor (who, incidentally, has already laughingly requested two daughters and a
son), and smiled and nodded. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: inherit;">The second emergency came as we were already an hour late, long after my
hoodie and jeans had served as high-capacity napkins for various small humans
to whom I’d suddenly become <i>Tantine!</i> We were within sight of the port when we made
a 180-degree turn. I maneuvered my phone
from my pocket, around a deplorably sticky infant and preschooler, and started
crafting my last will and testament to Carrottop. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: inherit;">Thnk boat’s hijacked. Regret nothing. Nt jokng this
time. Thx for yr wrk w Seed!<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: inherit;">I was debating the sensitivity of that last exclamation mark when the
mothers instructed the children who were awake to stay with <i>Tantine </i>and set off to protect their
young and their new sociopathic nanny. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: inherit;">“Do you know Rihanna? IRL?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: inherit;">My eyes swiveled from the determined, rolling bottoms of a couple of
frustrated African mommas and settled on the beautiful, angular face of the
eldest little girl who had Real Questions.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: inherit;">As we were heading back to port, I learned that the boat had spotted a
capsized <i>pirogue</i> and had turned to
save the men and items within. Apparently
one man had drowned. I’m not sure if all
the passengers had claimed front row seats to watch or if we’d arrived too late,
or even which one of these options I’d prefer, but I was glad to have remained
with the children in any case. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: inherit;">After waiting around a half hour for the crowd at the port to disperse, I
saw that our late arrival had created a bottleneck and if I didn’t get out
then, I’d have to sleep on the boat as per my organisation’s safety
regulations. I crawled around and over people
(whom I belatedly realized had gathered for some sort of concert at the already
over-capacity port), making good time until I was blocked by a man in a safety
vest who screamed at me to wash my hands.
As I was staggering under the weight of a backpack half my height and a
couple of sleeping bags, I half-heartedly wet one hand with water from a bucket
whose handle had likely been touched by a bajillion people before me, adopted
at least that many new microbes (including the cholera they were probably
trying to prevent), and found a gregarious moto driver who was very pleased by
my bargaining skills, Swahili, and yelps.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: inherit;">After singing my praises to a gas station attendant, who then tried to
ask me out, he swerved away crowing, “In your dreams! Ha-HA - we Congolese love women, eh?!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: inherit;">He met another moto-driving friend on the busy road and had a lively
conversation about me while I tried to muffle my screams. “Bring cows to our wedding!” he cackled as
they parted ways. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: inherit;">As he had cut me a deal and seemed more interested in teasing than
anything else, I climbed the stairs home with general satisfaction and a rueful
smile at what awaited me in the 6 months I had left…</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="http://josh1-9-hakunamatata.blogspot.com/2017/08/mounting-doom-part-i.html" target="_blank">Part I</a></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="http://josh1-9-hakunamatata.blogspot.com/2017/08/mounting-doom-part-ii.html" target="_blank">Part II</a></span></div>
</div>
Kermithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01245298608185678247noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2448192503770270955.post-77845152116375293862017-08-09T08:40:00.000-06:002017-08-09T09:31:48.321-06:00Mounting Doom – Part II<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Finally packed with what I thought were far too many jackets and socks –
as I knew for a fact that I would be an icicle at that altitude regardless of
how many layers I wore – we headed off in a taxi towards the station and our
tour.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></span></div>
<a name='more'></a><br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlRy2zxQwu6_WS4YcaPL3UqmfPJCyWc9wnVj9vZWf3u3VGLd1rSjalBINUsf-ZRC8kgU3JJoyEM_9C_5RhMassDFlkNO0aFm2OT_eMAO1aZs992ECQ_LzhpmZQOMAgEOar7j-nkcW7itk/s1600/CIMG3996.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlRy2zxQwu6_WS4YcaPL3UqmfPJCyWc9wnVj9vZWf3u3VGLd1rSjalBINUsf-ZRC8kgU3JJoyEM_9C_5RhMassDFlkNO0aFm2OT_eMAO1aZs992ECQ_LzhpmZQOMAgEOar7j-nkcW7itk/s200/CIMG3996.JPG" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">View</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;">Once at the meeting point, I delicately asked for the washroom – perhaps too delicately, as our taxi driver quizzically asked why I hadn’t taken a bath yesterday.</span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;">Overcoming my shock at this apparent non-sequitur, I admitted that all I really needed was a </span><i style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;">toilette</i><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;">.</span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;">He pointed me in the right direction and I found a row of three squatty potties that wavered in and out of my horrified focus like a mirage.</span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;">I paced back and forth in front of them at least three times in the small, mad hope that the view would change.</span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;">Then I composed myself and sauntered back to the office with a carefree smile.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIDL8KUjjldmapkl-eI8vRRSVEb8C-OPtpz139WDbFUPktdAYGQE0Kw9hUWkgnkQBNI9vq8ogZCN-CzFYqoitJGrStX89ZFNoe0ZZA2zwaQJjmsefv04zhgxTJSZwTgj9vrStt0FPXIOE/s1600/CIMG3998.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIDL8KUjjldmapkl-eI8vRRSVEb8C-OPtpz139WDbFUPktdAYGQE0Kw9hUWkgnkQBNI9vq8ogZCN-CzFYqoitJGrStX89ZFNoe0ZZA2zwaQJjmsefv04zhgxTJSZwTgj9vrStt0FPXIOE/s200/CIMG3998.JPG" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Forest</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;">“What’s wrong?!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;">Note to Self: Smile needs some work.</span></i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"> “Um. There are no doors.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;">“But it’s facing the forest.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;">“But there are no doors.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;">“Was there someone looking at you?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;">“There. Are. No. Doors.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;">I didn’t think I could be any more clear or rational, but our taxi driver, lead ranger, and guide couldn’t stop chuckling as they registered us for the hike.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br />
<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEnzl3qC0LEhWzPnPkbgI98WluApOZl_MBwLdisui1yeGJ1GN4kQ2FzZkqLrGASm5jbQoK-aZZ44azh_RbE1k5QH6-8UaDq9HUNQE8gpmx-oOIjwJtslIQmfomFY1DNdpbOk6X61SxxfA/s1600/CIMG4003.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEnzl3qC0LEhWzPnPkbgI98WluApOZl_MBwLdisui1yeGJ1GN4kQ2FzZkqLrGASm5jbQoK-aZZ44azh_RbE1k5QH6-8UaDq9HUNQE8gpmx-oOIjwJtslIQmfomFY1DNdpbOk6X61SxxfA/s200/CIMG4003.JPG" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Gradient from Hell</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;">This confusion lasted through the registration of the other hikers and questions as to what we’d packed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;">“Do you have a cook?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;">What, in my bag?! Or maybe this white girl?! </span></i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;">I didn’t realize that if we’d paid for the tour agency to provide food, it would also come with a cook who would make the trek with us. Once this was all worked out, including the fact that my friend and I would carry our own supplies (the ‘stupid idea’ that the other Dutch woman had noted), we headed up in a large group including two mothers of two and two children around the ages of 7 and 12. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2Tz7J-StQDvJSqCYmwODqzsMAN1cq2QazvKOJSh3Zb44XJCScCOKQdXcHKsL_m0whfc4nbeSMVGQKm-mD9GfecFkGLWgn8Jz0f6C1n4nTLjCMqk7u99LpZFvDNa-MdEyYlhv-odAzML4/s1600/CIMG4008.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2Tz7J-StQDvJSqCYmwODqzsMAN1cq2QazvKOJSh3Zb44XJCScCOKQdXcHKsL_m0whfc4nbeSMVGQKm-mD9GfecFkGLWgn8Jz0f6C1n4nTLjCMqk7u99LpZFvDNa-MdEyYlhv-odAzML4/s200/CIMG4008.JPG" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Strong, silent park ranger</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;">I was dead last. As in, over an hour behind everybody else – including the hired porters weighed down with food, water, pots and pans, and clothing. The last two hours of the 6-hour hike were spent in a state of constant cramping of both my thighs. I literally could not either stand or crouch, and the incline made it impossible for me to give my muscles relief. I would take a few steps, try not whimper as my muscles and knees locked up, and aim for relatively less steep ground upon which I could keel over like an arthritic stick insect - at which time the cramp would spread to my butt and I would jackknife up again. </span><br />
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span>
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieL4NJXvB8uFryoyqQdcplBuTtSFZq3Bd46ZIHtac8CgreItdOJJV07JeYnKv0MUjQmJOMEvmuAtwYQYvrpNgfl9J-hvf3CWPfxX1d0HdfT_AaRwc6h4X1ZM5TNK9bwSv90CHgOy_ZAdk/s1600/CIMG4011.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieL4NJXvB8uFryoyqQdcplBuTtSFZq3Bd46ZIHtac8CgreItdOJJV07JeYnKv0MUjQmJOMEvmuAtwYQYvrpNgfl9J-hvf3CWPfxX1d0HdfT_AaRwc6h4X1ZM5TNK9bwSv90CHgOy_ZAdk/s200/CIMG4011.JPG" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Gradient from Hell - Take II</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;">I was accompanied by an armed, taciturn park ranger who mainly spoke Swahili. He didn’t say a word every time I stopped (literally every few seconds), found me stick in the forest to lean on (I’d initially thought he was just making good his escape), repeatedly asked if he could carry my backpack (only if I went into rigor mortis), and had a minor stroke every time I fell over and then clawed my way to my feet again (likely thinking I would do myself harm – the joke was on him as I literally could not do any more harm to myself than my thighs were enthusiastically experiencing, unless perhaps I decided to give birth halfway up a volcano). Thankfully, he started laughing and become much friendlier once I started rambling in fugue state of agony.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrodldUO3shMQTZe5JgkkexwtmX13seijYygtlNI9hZkXlL72ZjM70Pqe9oc3g74aS05n9hX76jkFWpPQAzKEwfg7BUtSu33PU61AXfU-mwtsJhfaqvMExlsEm6X2m9WRDw4XtvJNpedk/s1600/CIMG4016.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrodldUO3shMQTZe5JgkkexwtmX13seijYygtlNI9hZkXlL72ZjM70Pqe9oc3g74aS05n9hX76jkFWpPQAzKEwfg7BUtSu33PU61AXfU-mwtsJhfaqvMExlsEm6X2m9WRDw4XtvJNpedk/s200/CIMG4016.JPG" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Cooking hut jointly claimed by America<br />
and pirates</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;">“What did Jesus say on the cross?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;">“…I don’t know.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;">“ ‘My God, my God, why have you left me?’ Right?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;">“…I don’t know.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;">“Well, I’m not sure about Swahili, but this is probably close to what he says in French… ‘My God, my God, why have you left me?’ ”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;">“…Really? Jesus said that on the cross?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;">He was laughing but, unsure of my ability to handle a spiritual crisis while facing paraplegia, I abruptly headed towards a different rabbit hole. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEig9FNQz-gnTCKslJWeQ1T7CqUgYn3JlqRXRmRBXg_Z2zNaaN28rNIsYvDph9YQAWPBWhkeXRXKCqi1n41eKI-qC9tXR1WWoFbdfYydiHVRSc9M-so76WN3Fsyi9OOKBLa_lzvE5m584Pk/s1600/CIMG4040.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEig9FNQz-gnTCKslJWeQ1T7CqUgYn3JlqRXRmRBXg_Z2zNaaN28rNIsYvDph9YQAWPBWhkeXRXKCqi1n41eKI-qC9tXR1WWoFbdfYydiHVRSc9M-so76WN3Fsyi9OOKBLa_lzvE5m584Pk/s200/CIMG4040.JPG" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The world's largest lava lake</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;">“Give me your gun and cartridges and go on ahead. I’ll catch up slowly. Or I can go back down.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;">He laughed uproariously. “Why would you ask that?!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;">“Because there must be some danger. Or do you just carry that to scare <i>mzungus</i>?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;">More laughter. “The gun is to help me walk. <i>Apana</i> – I cannot leave you. You will not go back. <i>Courage! </i>You can do this.”</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;">And this is how he went from being the quietest member of our group to the most positive and genteel – pulling me up by the elbow and wrist, offering me balm for my thighs, murmuring that we were so close, dragging me to easier paths, giving me goals and encouragement. However, he did want to know one thing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtALis-c1vnPGcbN7lmEJDkife9F27maLaBplygB3gUErv7kqrSU7Och74Dcu0fxXrpw9FWwj2EvON5XQDlweBaBfaWu_HD4MgmEqnYMJc0lbwJdsDRdOAtmVl9JzUl7NFjZW1CdjXJ0I/s1600/CIMG4050.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtALis-c1vnPGcbN7lmEJDkife9F27maLaBplygB3gUErv7kqrSU7Och74Dcu0fxXrpw9FWwj2EvON5XQDlweBaBfaWu_HD4MgmEqnYMJc0lbwJdsDRdOAtmVl9JzUl7NFjZW1CdjXJ0I/s200/CIMG4050.JPG" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The toilet</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;">“How old are you?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;">“…97.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;">Hearty chuckles.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;">“150.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;">More laughter. “20?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;">Then it was my turn. </span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;">Tired of my ineffectual rubbing at my aching thighs, at one point he literally grabbed my legs and gave me a few brisk rubdowns to the knee. As a rabid feminist raised in a traditionally Indian household, I <i>meep</i>’d and hoped this wasn’t a prelude to rape because I just wouldn’t know how to explain to Carrottop how I was incredibly out of shape and yet still loved to hike and carry my own bags and one thing led to another…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQvgedmt4wU9Y0s_gwOZ_v2ZLp4NroL665TzHQb6SESZuQeptQgqEoICTJr66YE7H6lzoUtY3ocVGu7qdCdO9cHTjKUiCReaOcum3ch396VkvoEfQHjqI9ExLhd0mK7IUfN9No9SZK2f0/s1600/CIMG4051.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQvgedmt4wU9Y0s_gwOZ_v2ZLp4NroL665TzHQb6SESZuQeptQgqEoICTJr66YE7H6lzoUtY3ocVGu7qdCdO9cHTjKUiCReaOcum3ch396VkvoEfQHjqI9ExLhd0mK7IUfN9No9SZK2f0/s200/CIMG4051.JPG" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The view from the toilet.<br />
(FYI, I'd rather see the back of a door.)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;">On the last, steepest stretch of rock just before the lip of the crater where our cabins beckoned like miniature suburbia, the sweet 7-year-old came down to let me know that the view at the top was totally worth it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;">It was. So we sat and watched the molten lava wave and curl, etch golden continents and break, burn and flower crimson for over an hour that night while our breath caught in tendrils around us, as covetous as any dragon.</span><br />
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0cAzm40MhkpnUTASF3vUCHrKtAu7CX3r_vVdCzfPw_xYnRE6XtddRJStCt9SEY2928Gux1P_ExT-3MeNvXloLk_LTafmr7B9pTvE_Bo6zIO9ygoe2hIiA5KmPY398Pr4R0j3JoR5dhEA/s1600/CIMG4053.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0cAzm40MhkpnUTASF3vUCHrKtAu7CX3r_vVdCzfPw_xYnRE6XtddRJStCt9SEY2928Gux1P_ExT-3MeNvXloLk_LTafmr7B9pTvE_Bo6zIO9ygoe2hIiA5KmPY398Pr4R0j3JoR5dhEA/s200/CIMG4053.JPG" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The lava lake in the morning</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;">When we turned in for the night, the warmth of fire, food, and friends was enough, but that didn’t last. Unwilling to take off all my clothes in the frigid darkness, I simply unhooked my bra and tried to pile as many things on top of myself and my sleeping bag as possible. Then I ate peanuts because, really, what else was there to do for 8 hours while my friend slept? After one of many failed attempts to get warm and be able to take in oxygen at the same time, I realized my pungent bra was entangled around my face like a luxury eye pack. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;">I paid $300 for this</span></i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;">, I thought, wrestling it back down where it belonged to wait for the foggy dawn.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLccoiGG8_4c4vkWCC7P_EHy5Of6bJuvJTyHuIh4j47t-lQ31nnAfDtlRLqs0L5SGUaxMBbxSlpn9vyLP4wfnfGFgSsfQevE8P3OwnUQu6PAYjPvG01IDbedvcuh0GOGnpKXr-HTQqApY/s1600/CIMG4057.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLccoiGG8_4c4vkWCC7P_EHy5Of6bJuvJTyHuIh4j47t-lQ31nnAfDtlRLqs0L5SGUaxMBbxSlpn9vyLP4wfnfGFgSsfQevE8P3OwnUQu6PAYjPvG01IDbedvcuh0GOGnpKXr-HTQqApY/s200/CIMG4057.JPG" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Our cabins between the two craters</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;">The hike back down offered a few near-scrapes, but – though I fully expected to make a spectacular fall down a stretch of the mountain – my thighs held up well. To my surprise, I wasn’t even as sore as I usually am after a hike; I think my legs were in shock that I’d continued hobbling 2 hours after they’d let me know on no uncertain terms that they wanted to go home. By that point, my friend’s shoes were tied on with some help from a Spanish <i>Principe Encantador</i>, duct tape, and shoelaces, but to see her go, you would think she was at a ball. In the same situation, I would have just laid down and begun rolling – the ensuing tears and blood could have only made the trip downhill faster. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">We all made it in the end - though the park ranger I fondly thought of as mine went far ahead to escape babysitting duty – and I had a great conversation with our tour guide about faith, encouragement, and our duty as Christians. <i><o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;">To top it all off, the sweet 12-year-old wanted to sit beside me a few times to ask about piercings and tattoos. Is it every geek’s secret dream to be a cool aunt or is it just me?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;">And then we were off the volcano, back in the city, and back in Eden. </span><br />
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><a href="http://josh1-9-hakunamatata.blogspot.com/2017/08/mounting-doom-part-i.html" target="_blank">Part I </a></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;">Part III</span></div>
</div>
Kermithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01245298608185678247noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2448192503770270955.post-19405451289827705082017-08-07T08:39:00.001-06:002017-10-09T07:44:41.227-06:00Mounting Doom – Part I<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Last week, I had a visit from an old friend who <a href="http://josh1-9-hakunamatata.blogspot.com/2016/08/heading-for-peace-part-2.html" target="_blank">once had to fish me outof a lake</a> and inexplicably still liked me.
We headed off on a boat to see a volcano because I am a masochist. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">After having battled our way through the port and into our seats, I was
a little disappointed when the TV was fixed on a channel of gospel music, but
decided to use the time to sleep. This
was mostly foiled when a pastor in a shiny grey suit strode in between our seats and began roaring that
everything would be okay with God. No
one was overtly contradicting him, but he still felt the need to rail in order
to increase our enthusiasm. A few
hapless women who halfheartedly muttered <i>Amen
</i>or hummed a few bars of a given hymn he had chosen were immediately ordered
to stand and sing or pray. I had
stealthily tried to unearth my camera to capture the moment, but gave up on
this in case the man, like any predator, could sense movement. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></span></div>
<a name='more'></a><span style="font-family: inherit;">Being an idiot, I’d never really understood what his end game was –
despite having lived a year and a half in this country – and simply thought he
wanted to preach the Word of God and salvation to everyone. In reality, he was also saving up for a
ticket back to Bukavu. </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Can I get an amen. <o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">In the sudden silence after his strident request, wherein I feigned a
deep coma and everyone else wished they’d had my sense, the pastor waited. Sounding like a chain letter from my high
school days, he promised that God would bless whoever donated freely and that
he, personally, would ensure this through prayer. Eventually, out of sheer embarrassment (which
seemed foreign to the pastor himself), I believe some women contributed (I was
too busy sleeping). Other passengers
were encouraged to clap for them and the pastor probably prayed that they
received a blessing equivalent to their contribution – of course, they wouldn’t
receive their money back if their blessing was missing or damaged, but I’m sure
something could be worked out if they called St. Peter at tech support. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">After this, when our immediate neighbours were occupied with my pretty
white friend (everyone should have one of them – they’re so convenient),
management suddenly decided to change the channel from praise and worship to
sexy music videos. My friend, a
level-headed Christian, played intelligent games on her tablet while I watched
2-minute clips of uniformed students passing notes in class, bursting into
twerking, being whipped by the teacher, ending up in bed where the guy holds up
a badly written poster saying he wants to cook for his little high school
sweetheart, then setting a plate of <i>foufou
</i>before her, within which she finds a ring!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Oh la la. <o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I was utterly enthralled by the bulging women and the plotlines that
varied from complex (as the one described above) to basic sex, but I did tear
myself away every so often to have wonderfully rational conversations with my
friend, which I was soon to learn is a very Dutch trait. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">She informed me that relationships and guys were mainly stupid and that
life was absolutely fine single, so why go through the hassle? <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I fell in love with her ideals (<i>which
used to be my own damn ideals until I was worn down by this entire country
asking me why I didn’t want to be feminine</i>)<i> </i>and wondered how I came to be sharing a home with a lunatic
instead of a normal person who could encourage me to continue to believe that I
was always right.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">There’s probably some reason God did this. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">We had our share of laughs when we noticed that one of the men next to
us on the boat was industriously talking into the back of his phone, and when
we were asked if we were twins on the streets of Goma. This is the only country in which I - a
distinctly Indian woman with a large nose, nose ring, dark hair, dark skin,
dark eyes, and large amounts of dark eyeliner – have also been identified as
Chinese, Norwegian, American, and Dutch.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Personality-wise, I wish I could be Dutch – I learned on this trip that they
are direct, independent, lovely people.
We were staying at a house rented by a Dutch couple who worked with the
UN; when I heard the wife say, “Yes, well, that is stupid,” to one of our plans
without a trace of anger, pride, or distaste, I decided I wanted to be just like her when I grew up. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Another reason I wanted to be adopted by this dynamic young couple was
that their house was surrounded by a lovely garden and almost always had power
and water in the dry season – I attribute this to the wife’s incredible
organization and drive in viewing 25 houses in a month before deciding on this
enclosed Eden. Carrottop, who usually
doesn’t lie to me, recently grievously hurt me with her insistence that no such
paradise exists in the Congo. I am now
forced to accept that she is not as omniscient as she appears. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<i><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I win. <o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">The best part was stepping into their warmly lighted bathroom that
looked like a page from… some homemaking magazine that I wouldn’t be caught
dead reading. There was a rock wall
separating a hot shower from the rest of the room and I only just kept from begging
to rent their bathroom for the next six months.
You’d understand this level of desperation if you lived in Bukavu in the
dry season with our shower apparatus – the one time I tried using it, I laughed
so hard I nearly fell into our toilet.
Something about the way the fixture reluctantly dripped on my collarbone
and the thought of Butters patiently standing under this dribble of blessing
was too much for me to take. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">As our home now boasts a single awkward, framed picture of the three of
us during worship at a local church – donated by a friend and hung on a window
by the industrious Phoenix after we kept shunting it off various chairs and
tables – seeing a beautifully decorated home made me long for my own. I’m not sure that it would be any less
Spartan than the one we live in now, but at least I wouldn’t feel guilty for
avoiding the scattered cutlery that line our counter, sink, and dusty drying
rack. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm; mso-layout-grid-align: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">…So it was from this paradise that we drove off again to climb 8km up
the side of a volcano to see the largest lava lake at an altitude of
3400m. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgugizxs3zIWuNiXpgjkwfUoehgtesxP0kSYxOJ9ui0KwZHEVXrr5o-_yYZWuehREL-N7ivIWsqYObIa8RXnIyNlL8AK-72HNXhX0BCq8TbKS3qF1vq1nBflZX3KKEWftAjOgkqGtLhOBY/s1600/CIMG3979.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgugizxs3zIWuNiXpgjkwfUoehgtesxP0kSYxOJ9ui0KwZHEVXrr5o-_yYZWuehREL-N7ivIWsqYObIa8RXnIyNlL8AK-72HNXhX0BCq8TbKS3qF1vq1nBflZX3KKEWftAjOgkqGtLhOBY/s200/CIMG3979.JPG" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My room - lovely, and made more so <br />
by the green pressing in</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHLgIotTcqA2y6UQuXmjH91laavvo9A2i3l9cxTEd6v-74NnCYxTgwDf5jRCyJzYVeT1W6WnxQ4E46bxVBNcKDFCngsKxFUJ0-P22YP6o0SXTDCjuHPVKEdOQkm_tu_yWDdxSRTxFwzIk/s1600/CIMG3983.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHLgIotTcqA2y6UQuXmjH91laavvo9A2i3l9cxTEd6v-74NnCYxTgwDf5jRCyJzYVeT1W6WnxQ4E46bxVBNcKDFCngsKxFUJ0-P22YP6o0SXTDCjuHPVKEdOQkm_tu_yWDdxSRTxFwzIk/s200/CIMG3983.JPG" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The front yard</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span><span lang="EN-US"><br /></span>
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="http://josh1-9-hakunamatata.blogspot.com/2017/08/mounting-doom-part-ii.html" target="_blank">Part II</a></span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://josh1-9-hakunamatata.blogspot.com/2017/08/mounting-doom-part-iii.html" target="_blank">Part III</a></span></div>
</div>
Kermithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01245298608185678247noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2448192503770270955.post-66318350977006058592017-08-01T04:43:00.000-06:002017-08-01T04:54:15.673-06:00These Moments<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
There was a moment… As I was sitting down to write the post, to relax from numbers, reports, French, suffering - there was a sharp<i> crack!</i> and I thought, <i>Gunshots.</i><br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
It was the first time I’d ever thought that. I didn’t think of fireworks, of the chime of bracelets dancing, of the heat of cayenne and closeness. I didn't smile at silvery memories of a childhood brilliant with magic spells and house colours. I thought of violence. And realized something had changed. Certainly someone had. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<a name='more'></a>There was a moment… As our young guard and our psychologist carefully watched the Central Prison just below us, flinching and spinning at the shots that tap-danced across our senses – that I was scared that they were scared. A moment when I remembered my teammates telling stories of weaving to school between carefree bullets and careless bodies. <br />
<br />
There was a moment… As we watched a soldier dragging a man back to the Central Prison, as we watched one push the other to the ground, as we heard him cry out – that I realized we were watching a man die. I devoured the sight of him splayed brokenly on the ground before a pointed rifle. I, who resolutely avoided the sight of accidents – not out of fear or distaste, but so that I could pray and respect the pain shattered and or seeping across the street – I couldn’t let go of this man. He was going to die in my crosshairs… until the gun was lowered and I could breathe again. The Lord had mercy and I was one of the lucky ones – to escape death so narrowly. After the soldier let him get up and walk away, I did too, carefully stepping on the lines between the tiles and the roles of <i>perpetrator</i>, <i>victim</i>, and <i>accomplice</i>. My skin felt too loose, watery for my tightly wound veins of precious life. I heard the gunshots break out again but didn’t look back. I wanted to cover my ears in case I would hear that man cry out again; I was Orpheus, an unknown prisoner my very own Eurydice. Is this love? <br />
<br />
There was a moment… As I watched a short, stocky, middle-aged man smiling at the front of the church with his very pretty, very solemn, very much younger, willowy bride-to-be – that I felt so guilty. Roughly one year ago, he’d asked if I wanted to be in a relationship with him. I thought justice had been served; now I was sentenced to watch this lamb being led to the altar. I hope I’m wrong – perhaps all her dreams have come true. But if this is love, I want none of it.<br />
<br />
There was a moment… As a kind churchgoer solemnly greeted me saying, “I saw you walk in. You look like Jesus.” - that I wondered if I should try a closer shave. There was no stopping the laughter in that moment, because you take it as and when it comes. But I appreciated the reminder that we were all one in Christ – the family resemblance is never so great as when we laugh and when we cry. <br />
<br />
There was a moment… When I was giggling with the young housemaids outside our building, with plaster raining on my head from above, as they teased the way we spoke, the way we stood – that I remembered how much strangers could love. A moment when I learned why I wore so many earrings –<i> it’s because she’s beautiful </i>– and why my hips sway –<i> it’s because she’s proud! </i>I wonder if they see the family resemblance too?<br />
<br />
There was a moment… When I came home from an evening church service, expecting to have missed the half-hour of power to heat my bathwater – that I found a bucket already waiting for me. I would not have asked for this small favour, and perhaps it was equally small in the eyes of my neighbour, but it is so easy to love others and so hard to bend to wash their feet. These are the moments I see God so powerfully in others that it calls me back home from wandering where my words and will have taken me - when my lips are burned by the Spirit in others, so bright that it has apparently blinded them to the holiness of it, of <i>them</i>. Will we ever see the beauty of the flames, or just the loss?<br />
<br />
There was a moment… When my roommates agreed to do a Bible study every Sunday night – that I felt like God had pressed a pearl into my palm. I could feel it, warm and perfect and sweet, even when the words we said might have been brittle or jewels buried so deep that they’d remained unseen. <br />
<br />
There was a moment… When we decided to read the Bible every night and it was as if that same pearl that I’d been clutching so desperately was on my tongue, in my throat, warm in the centre of me. And it stayed there, every night that we sat together in the gray dullness of fluorescent light at a hard table and wooden cushions – reading, wondering, laughing. <br />
<br />
There was a moment… As I interrupted this post to answer a worried phone call suggesting I go home because of the events at the Central Prison. As I took a minute to listen to my coworkers laughing over war stories and convinced myself that it was going to be okay. As I scrambled to answer another terse phone call that informed me to go home because the prison had been broken open, as wide and irreparable as my day. Despite the fact that the next street was bustling with vendors and buses and children, despite the fact that my coworkers were staying at the office, despite the fact that <i>I had plans</i>. A moment when I heard, “You know this is a perfectly justified response to the security situation. So what is really making you so mad? Control? From men specifically?” and I realized just how <i>furious </i>I really was and why. Because care can be contained in an iron fist and I never wanted to see that coming near me - not ever again. And it can’t be explained, the reason I twist and rage against restraints of love and responsibility that pull me to safety. I was always told I was stubborn and proud; I suppose somewhere in the attempt to break these traits, they were strengthened and purified. My will has become my god and perhaps I’m blind enough to follow it to the end – unless a tongue of flame bearing white-hot questions leads me on a level path.<br />
<br />
These were moments in which I stepped outside myself, outside what I saw and felt there and understood that they were shaping me, changing me, flooding my eyes and my skin. They changed the things I saw, and <i>the way I looked</i> – adding a sharp edge to my smile that hadn’t been there when I was 16, brushing my hair with silver fingers when I wasn’t looking. They are worn from where they have cut me and sharp where I don’t expect.<br />
<br />
I am more careful now. <br />
<br />
And I laugh louder.</div>
</div>
Kermithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01245298608185678247noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2448192503770270955.post-38649476534659411832017-07-28T02:59:00.000-06:002017-07-28T03:33:55.974-06:00What Happens Here…<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Butters, who often self-identifies as a delicate flower with all the arrogance of a young white American male, had long worried me with his penchant for standing with one hand supporting his fractured rib. The thought of the long (but mainly smooth) drive to and from our retreat location added to this worry. Luckily, Butters is strong (and usually silent – except about stupid things) and he (along with Carrottop) even managed to catch or recover my truly miserable Frisbee throws – despite looking like Napoleon caught in a nightmare of taking a left turn at Albuquerque on his way to the Battle of the Waterloo and finding himself in swim trunks in the middle of a lake. <br />
<br />
Upon arrival at the border, he introduced the topic of our water situation, which is his equivalent of retirement planning. I’d naturally been thinking about this for weeks (especially since Timbit was due to return from her vacation soon) and had some ideas, but Butter’s involvement at this stage was truly a sign of our mental compromises as roommates. <br />
<br />
At home, I quickly revised every good opinion I’d ever had of him, ever, in the history of all time.<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a>I’d been saving up our dirty dishes for The Phoenix, whom I’d expected once a week as usual. Shortly before leaving, I’d found that Butters had given him the day off. He calmly advised me to just leave the dishes as we didn’t have much water anyway, and I was too stressed about the upcoming retreat to argue. His impulses to give days off and relieve me of housekeeping duties were kind and generous and meant that we had two weeks’ worth of rotting Tupperware to deal with when we got home.<br />
<br />
Our water and power situation are, as always, close to being impossible without actually ever hitting that threshold. For example, we would get water in our tank about once every two weeks, and the power was mainly off in the evenings until 10pm. It would flash briefly at around 6:30 as usual just so that I would scream, and then disappear again. It now manages to stay on for roughly half an hour, during which I desperately heat water and charge all the appliances that are to keep me going for the next three hours. Added to the solar-powered lights in our living room and kitchen, the situation is entirely survivable. <br />
<br />
<i>And so damn irritating.</i> <br />
<br />
Captain and Carrottop have even worked out an arrangement with our landlord so that we supposedly get five <i>bidons </i>of water a day. This is a goldmine in an apartment building where Ms. Second-and-Third Floor Housekeeping ties ten empty bidons to her head and shuffles sideways down the narrow hallway to the door of our apartment building in order to go hunt water in the mornings. <br />
<br />
For us, this means that our landlord’s three housemaids (they hire more in order to waste more water washing things – which is vital to respectable existence here) and his two daughters demand cookies from us at all times and in all places (his son will join in the fun when he is able to talk and climb the stairs) and give us water when they want. <br />
<br />
One of the housemaids asked me to take her to where I was born. Assuming she meant Canada, I teasingly asked what she’d do in India. <br />
<br />
“I’ll be your slave!”<br />
<br />
<i>Good feelings gone. </i><br />
<br />
They have now taken to exploring the apartment in roving packs, a practice which I detest and, as usual, can trace back to Butters. I have usually been careful to stop the maids and the children at the door, only share sweets for special occasions, and generally draw a line to indicate my space and my resources. One night, while I was hiding in plain view on the couch and desperately praying that Butters would not let them in, he did. My arms were suddenly filled with a book on leadership and a small, scrubby-headed cutie who shrieked the same thing she shrieks every single time she sees me: “You have beautiful hair!”<br />
<br />
She then explored my room, shrieking ecstatically, “She has a mosquito net!” and other such nonsense while Butters hid in his room like a traitorous gerbil. As I finally herded them to the door, the little girl turned to face me and ask seriously, “Each one has their own room?”<br />
<br />
“<i>Yes</i>,” both Butters and I answered definitively before I shut the door in their sweet faces. <br />
<br />
And now we have set a precedent – not only can they demand anything they want when we return from grocery shopping or work or church, but they can also enter the house and search the premises without a warrant. One afternoon, both the little girls jumped on my bed in their outside clothes, and asked for something, <i>anything</i>. <br />
<br />
“I want this… and this…” said the elder decisively, indicating a bag of whole-wheat pasta and some baguettes. “And I’ll be back for this,” she promised, lovingly petting a Pringles container.<br />
<br />
In severe distress at my consistent refusals to give them food that didn’t belong to me, they desperately demanded the bottle of water I had in my hands. <br />
<br />
Being generally of the mindset that children should be seen and not heard – polite at the very least – this was an affront to my sensibilities. Grandma and Grandpa generously welcome the children of their apartment building whenever they show up – not saying a word - with outstretched hands, but this is beyond me. Being grandparents (and reasonable) they look within and call it love; I look into round, thickly-lashed eyes and call it rude with a dash of entitlement. Filling the outstretched hands of well-to-do children or well-dressed pedestrians who ask for $10 for food or phone credits or bus fare stands in complete opposition to everything graffiti’d on my soapbox. Our landlord has some sort of business, his wife works, and he collects over $600USD/mo from our apartment alone – none of this is to say that he doesn’t need money or that he isn’t generous with his family or friends or church, but his children likely do not want for anything. These demands are indicative of a wider mindset – the kids don’t ask treats from other neighbours, but the ‘white’ people <i>must </i>give something. Instead of promoting learning and interdependence, foreigners continue to foster the parasitism that Mobutu suggested: steal a little bit, don’t call it stealing, and watch as an entire nation caves in. <br />
<br />
“Yeah, so what about turbo?” I was once casually asked at work. <br />
<i>What.</i><br />
“Your turbo!”<br />
<i>Is this what our pump is called? We could probably have made do with older model: ‘Adequate - in the presence of water.’</i><br />
“What do you think about him?”<br />
<i>That </i>he <i>is likely not our water pump.</i><br />
“Your prime minister!<br />
<br />
Having seen the alternative, I admitted that - while he wasn’t getting me water any faster - my Trudeau was doing a fairly good job. </div>
Kermithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01245298608185678247noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2448192503770270955.post-1342841935670733582017-07-26T03:24:00.000-06:002017-07-28T05:28:44.386-06:00What Happens in Rwanda…<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Truthfully speaking, I’d been worried about this retreat. Not only because I was to be presenting on leadership in French (an unholy trinity of detestable things), but because I’d disputed African solidarity with my African teammates and... it hadn't gone over well.<br />
<br />
Android that I am, I tried to broach the topic; my teammates avoided it because of a human desire for connection and avoidance of confrontation. Now, if I thought that a friend working in international humanitarian aid in a missions organization was racist, I would probably have tried to discuss her beliefs with her, but maybe that’s just me. In reality, I know that my teammates were probably joking a little bit, but… I can’t. I get jokes – I do; this is the one reason I wouldn’t diagnose myself with autism or Asperger’s. <br />
<br />
Racism, sexism, corruption… these aren’t really jokes to me. They exist, they can be hidden very well in the twists of the psyche, and they destroy people and lives. <br />
<br />
This is not funny. <br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a>Added to this existing tension was the fact that we were staying in a convent without an internet connection (filled with honeymooning couples who apparently thought nuns provided just the right ambience). While I would usually approve of this location and disconnection, my priorities have recently shifted slightly (for which I still blame Butters).<br />
<br />
Then I became violently ill – but hopefully my poker face was such that very few people recognised that I was both emphatically not pregnant and that my stomach was treating any and all food as a toddler would treat a bowlful of Cheerios. On a roller coaster. <br />
<br />
Finally, thankfully after my presentation on leadership in French, my laptop suffered some sort of supercharge (in Rwanda, of all places, which usually boasts regular power), and completely refused to face the world. <br />
<br />
I made it through with caffeine, fish, soup, caffeine, the grace of my teammates, caffeine, and the inspired guidance of our co-facilitators. <br />
<br />
By the end of the retreat, I’d succeeded in being so late for everything (mainly because my bathroom and our conference room were in different time zones) that I was identified as having been corrupted by Congolese practices. Coming from an enthusiastic believer of African values (himself Congolese), I found this deeply ironic.<br />
<br />
I was also congratulated for finally discovering my feminine side - because I passed around a few bowls of soup at lunch. My smile could have have cut glass, but at least I held on to it. Then my female teammates and I were further congratulated on not getting pregnant for over a year. I’d like to think this was a joke, but am forced to admit that it may have been an attempt to encourage and strengthen us for the last leg of our contract, when the temptation to burst into spontaneous pregnancy may be too overwhelming to bear. Some tribes here encourage girls to get pregnant before marriage – it is a sign of fertility – and the child is given to its grandparents as a ‘gift’ when its mother gets married. So perhaps we were being encouraged for not bowing to cultural pressures… Friendship is such a stretch sometimes. <br />
<br />
Another special mention was when my African teammates made fun of Chinese and Korean names in a nasal accent. I love when we can join together in humour and the <i>obvious </i>fact that only Indian names are normal… <br />
<br />
To be perfectly honest, I think the reason more people didn’t die that week was because I was just too weak from blood loss and dehydration. <br />
<br />
Then, of course, there was the requisite insanity in the form of this country’s border crossings – where ink from a stamp is treated as more precious than gold and neither logic nor proof are welcome – during which time I wondered if I could request to be relocated to a permanent residence in Rwanda. <br />
<br />
Eventually, we all made it to the real attraction of that week: Big Chicken’s big fat Congolese wedding! He’d been looking forward to it so much that everything from bananas to passionfruit to the word ‘presentation’ to upending a sugar bowl was made into a joke about sex while I silently wished I were a lesbian. His big day involved a rather feminist sermon at the district office for the civil ceremony, a church service wherein all the music contained the bride and groom’s names (as well as those of the guests) and the choir gave advice to the couple in song, a photoshoot by a lake, and a reception filled with gifts and laughs. Big Chicken, dashing and poker-faced, winked in our direction a few times, and the boys of our team received front-row seats to impromptu lap dances – though they were identified as cultural – sometimes by buxom women, sometimes by sweaty men in costume shorts with a dangling tiger tail. Butters, good sport that he is, did the bump and grind with both the men and women, and we ended the night with <i>Kamatia Chini</i> – my jam. <br />
<br />
In a few days, we headed back home, this time with Butters in a state of violent illness – and apologizing for possibly having to vomit. This is important because he’d mocked me when I’d mentioned apologizing to Cinderella (with whom I’d shared a room at the convent) for my weak gurgles all night. However, with a consideration that is truly admirable – especially with regard to something he thinks is stupid, as he does most of my beliefs and practices - he remembered to excuse himself in advance for making the sounds that I hated (and, in all honesty, would probably have joined him in).<br />
<br />
On the way, we again passed dedicated Rwandan construction workers who were doing a wonderful job of building a road through hill and dale. We were passed by a car with our city’s license plates and a black driver whom Captain promised us was probably American due to his terrible driving. We saw him again with blown-out tires, among a crowd of people, his little car facing us, where Captain stopped to ask how he was doing and gently answer his befuddled question of where our town lay. <br />
<br />
It’s not just trauma that causes bizarre interpretations of events – on that trip, I was identified as being thinner than one of our teammates, which was an obvious lie. Later, I realized they had confused <i>thinner </i>with <i>less curvaceous</i>. My female teammates have hourglass figures – I am a blocky exception. I don’t even mind because, as my dearly departed grandmother once said: <i>The Lord giveth and the Lord withholdeth.</i> It’s not easy to channel Shakespeare in the rolled consonants of a South Indian language, but it was an effective life lesson disguised as criticism of my cup size. <br />
<br />
It was with this idea of withholding in mind that I returned to a land in the grip of a long dry season. </div>
Kermithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01245298608185678247noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2448192503770270955.post-37431562527160702692017-07-25T02:11:00.001-06:002017-07-25T05:30:58.911-06:00Defeating the Leopard – Part III<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I found more notes from the seminar with the wonderful expert on sex- and gender-based violence. I think I’d decided to skip them because I was tired of myself idolizing the speaker, but then my computer broke down and I was finally forced to read an informative book on Congo’s history that Butters had loaned me many, many moons ago. <br />
<br />
In light of those notes, enlightening passages from the book, and arguments I’ve had with myself and basically everyone around me, I thought it was important to <strike> rage fruitlessly </strike> outline my thoughts and feelings around the state of this world. Remember that my tribute to the speaker is reflected in the use of her words as much as possible.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<a name='more'></a><i>“Does the world stop when the money stops? These are your people, your languages, your villages. You have all the material you need, even without the money!”<br /><br />“Mobutu said to ‘take care of yourselves,’ and we still live in that mindset! It’s up to us to change our families. We may feel that we have good intentions that come up against a bad system, but it’s still our responsibility. Right now, we’re staying comfortable in a situation that is destroying us! We are in contradiction with ourselves – we say one thing and do another…”</i><br />
<div>
<i><br />“Remember that life is not a fight between men and women. We’re together in this. The point is not to shake the tree so that all the fruits and flowers fall to the ground. The point is to strengthen the tree so that it produces good fruit.”</i><br />
<br />
Another highlight was when my group members unanimously confessed admiration over the fact that Rwandan public transport actually displayed the number of the police service – to call in case of emergency. After a minute of silence for the death of trust within this country’s borders, we continued on with our group work. <br />
<br />
The following quotes are from David Van Reybrouck’s <i>Congo – The Epic History of a People</i>. They are long, but they describe the leopard we face. <br />
<br />
<i>“In response to a state that was withdrawing from its citizens, the citizens withdrew from the state. ‘Article 15’ they called it, in reference to a fictitious article in the Zairian constitution that read: ‘Debrouillez-vous!’ (get it while you can!). Often enough, this involved illegal activities (contraband, theft, fraud) – but what does illegal mean when the country itself is criminal? Grassroots corruption was the best way to counter corruption at the top, for faithfully paid taxes would simply evaporate up there anyway. Hadn’t Mobutu… himself more or less promised to turn a blind eye? During a huge rally in Kinshasa’s soccer stadium, he had said: ‘If you must steal, then steal a little bit and leave a little bit for the nation.’ He should not have said that… The country was as leaky as a sieve, and the state lost out on hundreds of millions of dollars in revenue. It went little by little, just as the president had suggested, until nothing more was left... The country was living on borrowed time, but at least it was alive. The economics of pillage, of course, could not endure. Congo was being cannibalized…”<br /><br />“The new leaders did not do a particularly good job; they emulated the abuses of Mobutism with a zeal that would have startled Mobutu himself. While crucial dossiers dealing with military reform and the electoral process awaited action, one of the first laws to pass through parliament stipulated… higher wages for the members of parliament… In 2005 the members of parliament as a whole (620 souls) treated themselves to a respectable vehicle: each representative was given a brand-new SUV valued at $22 000 – the terrible condition of Kinshasa’s roads, after all, called for solid coachwork. That those same roads could have been repaired for that money seemed hardly relevant. Rather than opportunity for a lasting reconstruction of society, political mandates were still the fast lane to individual financial gain. There were no incentives for good governance, not as long as corruption was so rewarding, both financially and socially: it was considered praiseworthy. “You musn’t forget that our politicians are the children of poor people” … While corruption in the West is viewed as unjustifiable, in Congo it is seen as extremely justified: it is the person who misses out on a perfect opportunity to feed his family who is acting in a completely unjustifiable fashion.”<br /><br />“Many Congolese go abroad to escape the suffocating family ties. The oft-praised African solidarity has something touching about it in times of crisis, but in times of reconstruction it generates an infernal logic that makes long-term projects impossible: the little bit of money that is available is immediately distributed to feed many hungry mouths. Reinvestment and planning are not highly valued. [Abroad], things are much easier. There are no uncles and nephews to accuse you of sorcery when you refuse to share the little bit of money you’ve earned; witchcraft in Congo is the ultimate argument for enforcing solidarity.”</i><br />
I was recently called out for attacking the idea of African solidarity. But, if pushed, I will do it again. And again. And again. Until people in this part of the world realize that many, many cultures pride themselves on nationalism, loyalty, hospitality, and generosity and don’t have quite so many recent genocides or ethnic wars on their hands. <br />
<br />
<i>Ohhhh</i>, you say. <i>Low blow. </i><br />
<br />
And it is, so I’ve twisted my sharp tongue in my mouth to keep from snapping it during group discussions. But that doesn’t make it any less true. <br />
<br />
Speaking as an immigrant, I have seen that many of the things my family has praised of the old country are also the things that make it a relief to live in Canada. <br />
<br />
<i>“These people don’t care about each other”</i> easily sounds like <i>“At least Ms. So and So isn’t keeping tabs on everything we do,”</i> depending on the situation. <br />
<br />
<i>“These people don’t care about their work at all”</i> quickly becomes <i>“I have three weeks’ vacation and flex days and…”</i> depending on the mood. <br />
<br />
This is not to say that either Canada or India has the market on human kindness, gossip, work ethic, or mental health. It should show that any strength can also be a weakness depending on the lighting, on the words you use to describe it. <br />
<br />
In this way, ‘corruption’ can be called ‘an arrangement.’<br />
<br />
‘Nepotism’ becomes ‘solidarity.’<br />
<br />
I can understand why Africans have had to rely on each other – their leaders have washed their hands of the situation. But that doesn’t mean that they’ve discovered some utopian bliss. In fact, I would say that the negative aspects of African solidarity reign supreme here. And no amount of offended patriotism will cover the corpses of the past decades. <br />
<br />
In exchange for some mythical ethos of togetherness and an edict to fend for oneself (the smallest unit being the family rather than the individual), this country has completely shot the idea of short-term suffering for long-term gain - possibly because it has seen quite a lot of suffering as it is. In the process, it is slowly killing itself. The example of the failing, leaky state is the large-scale effect; the small-scale cause is that families of eleven welcome the birth of another blessing – the mark of their effort and their name in a world where life can be unmercifully short - who will be the responsibility of a relative in the city or an elder sibling. Neither of these options paves the way for success for any of the people involved, but there’s that sweet baby with the shiniest eyes and sweaty, cotton-fluff hair… <br />
<br />
…The sooner we admit there is a problem, appropriately defining it, the sooner we have a chance to remember how to fix the system for the health, safety, and care of that little one. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="http://josh1-9-hakunamatata.blogspot.com/2017/06/defeating-leopard-part-i.html">Part I</a><br />
<a href="http://josh1-9-hakunamatata.blogspot.com/2017/06/defeating-leopard-part-ii.html">Part II</a></div>
</div>
</div>
Kermithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01245298608185678247noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2448192503770270955.post-89953517813567482912017-07-24T08:45:00.000-06:002017-08-01T05:08:09.172-06:00Priorities<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<b>I am a month behind - that's four posts in blog time! This was scribbled towards the end of June – before our team retreat in Rwanda and the final collapse of my snowflake laptop. I probably only had a vague grasp of what I was trying to say then and I certainly don’t remember enough to expound on it now – hopefully it’s mostly English…</b><br />
<br />
Life never goes as planned. This means arguments in which I try to convince myself that I'm not neurotic (I lose).<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<a name='more'></a>One of my coworkers came to work bemoaning the fact that one of his younger siblings had erased all of the pictures – on the field, with his family, everything - on his ipad. He turned to me sadly, “Even the one of us. Me with such a <i>grosse personalité</i>. A <i>Grosse Legume</i>.”<br />
<br />
I'd already been inwardly grinning that he'd lost that picture – being about a foot taller and wider than him and having just returned from a very hot walk to the maket that day, I'd looked like his escapee grandmother from a nursing home. I'd started outwardly grinning at the 'fat personality' bit, but when he referred to me as a Big Vegetable - the name for Mobutu Sese Seko's henchmen who'd helped him divide and rule (and milk) the country - I burst into giggles. <br />
<br />
Despite these regular water cooler breaks, we are now extremely busy at the office as we are at the end of our project. Our coordinator – one of the few Congolese leaders I've heard encourage his team on a job well done – has been trying to promote regular work hours, but also a regular amount of work during those hours. This was a good idea in theory, but in practice meant eight people simultaneously editing a 19-page document projected on a bumpy wall by a failing machine that rendered the document a garish mix of fuchsia-and-lemon. When I tried to suggest that we divvy up the pages, I was firmly vetoed. French grammar is mainly beyond me anyway (though I am just proud enough to think I have a handle on it), and the spacing issues and the lack of the Oxford comma was already gnawing at me; I mainly stayed silent. <br />
<br />
I’m also to make a presentation on leadership at our team retreat in Rwanda next week, so I was struggling to keep my head above my commitments. On the other hand, I did learn how to send money through my cellphone provider to someone in another city! Butters told me to go to the front desk, but as there was only a makeshift wooden booth outside the building, I ignored him and did it my way; very little of what he tells me has any bearing on reality. <br />
<br />
Sometimes my insistence on doing things my way is detrimental. My mom regularly goes out of her way to talk to people she may have seen once in a dream; I will cross to the other side of the street in order to keep from waving. I recognise this is a problem, and I'm working on it. But not fast enough. One evening this week, a friend who hadn't been at church in a while called my name – I smiled and waved, said it'd been too long, and continued on. Ten minutes later, literally halfway home, I couldn't take the voices in my head anymore. <br />
<br />
<i>How could you not stop to shake his hand and greet him properly? Remember when he came to a Bible study drunk and called out one of the other members for avoiding him in their </i>quartier<i>? You always say that people should be treated specially – that you should make time for them, that welcoming them in the family of God is our responsibility as Christians. What sort of welcome was this? You didn't even--</i><br />
<br />
So I stopped, pretended to check my Neolithic phone as though it held a GPS for the Chicken-Hearted Soul, turned around and headed back to find this man who'd likely already left or wouldn't care if I danced the jig for him. <br />
<br />
<i>It's not about him; it's about you. </i><br />
<br />
I stifled the urge to say that then <i>I</i> should be home eating biscuits and retraced my steps. Of course, I found him, we chatted, and then I set off for home again. <br />
<br />
<i>Happy now?</i><br />
<br />
I was. Mostly because I was then stopped and greeted by four other friends from church. This doesn't seem like a big deal - in fact, it is a personal nightmare - but knowing people is important in this culture. Our local teammates can't go three feet without being stopped by someone from school or church – even in a different city. This was another reminder to me that my smallest actions matter, that my personality shouldn't stand in the way of my commitment to working for the glory of God – which involves integration into this place. </div>
<div>
<br />
<i>I get it. You win. </i><br />
<br />
The final hiss to get my attention came when I was nearly home. I looked warily at the guards who faithfully guarded something with a corrugated sheet-metal gate every day and sometimes tried to get my attention. I've never had a bad experience with anyone in uniform here, but I've heard enough stories to know that I'm lucky – so avoidance seems to be the best approach. <br />
<br />
This one started yelling a name, which was a bold move – there were literally millions to choose from. <br />
<br />
<i>Ha-HA – joke's on you, Mister Yelly Man. That is not my name! It is N2O's name, and using the name of someone I love is a low... </i><br />
<br />
I slowed. What were the chances that this man was calling out N2O's name while she was sick in the hospital? So I stopped and chatted again – it turned out he went N2O's church, had seen me at her wedding, knew she was sick, and was going to visit her. I’m not sure why he felt the need to share this information with me, but we all have our own agendas and priorities. <br />
<br />
My teammates, for example, are wildly excited by bacon, ham, and beef jerky. I am too, in a vague way, because these things mean home. But I’m also excited about finding mustard seeds and spicy pickle - because they are also home. So these finds, like my deep love for getting into a hot car, must be hidden away from the world. </div>
<div>
<br />
But I’m slowly adopting some foreign-isms. I used to tread lightly in my own kitchen when Butters would croon something about <i>‘such a dirty old man.’</i> Knowing this is a Beatles song helps. Inspired by this delicate bond and hunted by a cute, persistent suitor, I once asked Butters to remind me that romantic relationships, hypothetically speaking, were stupid. <br />
<br />
“No! They’re wonderful!”<br />
<br />
I blame him in advance for everything that may happen. </div>
</div>
Kermithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01245298608185678247noreply@blogger.com0