You know you're a missionary when...

The tax forms say it.

That's it.

You're in the big leagues. 

That is a higher power certifying that, yes, your faith is valid. 

It is a tick mark in box that has forced you to use a weighty word.

Not because it requires extra strength to carry, but because people think it does.  Everyone knows missionaries don't joke about this, don't say that, don't think the other thing.  

This is patently untrue because:

1. If you love God, you're a missionary 
2. I you don't love God, you're a missionary (but you don't call it that - you'd call it being 'true to yourself,' or being a good mom, or working out, or going vegan)

I would like to leave you with some dialogue from a great work of art:

"[Be prepared] for the death of the King..."

"Great idea; who needs a king?!  No king, no king, lalalala-la-la!"

"Idiots!  There will be a king!"

"Uh, but you said--"

"I will be King!  Stick with me, and you'll never go hungry again!"

"Long live the King!"

Choose the right King.