Then participants shared challenges they'd faced on the field and asked how to deal with them.
Example 1: An organisation handed out contraceptives to fight HIV/AIDS. Catholic churches spoke out against this, and another organisation offered 200Fc for each contraceptive handed over to them – which they then burned. The organisations started offering $20 to people who would decorate their cars for one camp or the other.
“Retreat! Strategically. Learn from more successful partners in the area, bring real-life cases to justify your position – so people cannot blame horrific deaths on some neighbour's hairy eyeball. Seek support from trusted members of society – remember, we don't have the perfect recipe. It's up to you on the field to work this out.”
Example 2: Similar to the first, but the speaker just wanted to add a catchy slogan: 'Say no to contraceptives; yes to body on body!'
“Great, explain to them that this means syphilis.”
Example 1: An organisation handed out contraceptives to fight HIV/AIDS. Catholic churches spoke out against this, and another organisation offered 200Fc for each contraceptive handed over to them – which they then burned. The organisations started offering $20 to people who would decorate their cars for one camp or the other.
“Retreat! Strategically. Learn from more successful partners in the area, bring real-life cases to justify your position – so people cannot blame horrific deaths on some neighbour's hairy eyeball. Seek support from trusted members of society – remember, we don't have the perfect recipe. It's up to you on the field to work this out.”
Example 2: Similar to the first, but the speaker just wanted to add a catchy slogan: 'Say no to contraceptives; yes to body on body!'
“Great, explain to them that this means syphilis.”
Example 3: 'Dress is not an invitation' is false. The reasoning was that villagers had once refused to come to a seminar led by a woman in pants, but came when she wore a pagne.
“She should wear a pagne – in order to not waste a day of teaching. She should respect the culture BUT
"Form of dress is not cause/justification of rape. People don't understand that if women wear pants, they may have time to cry for help, while with a pagne - one pull and they're already naked. Sorry to be so crude, but this is the reality. People need to learn, but slowly. If her dress stops them from learning, she should adapt to the society, but it does not justify rape, not even if she's naked.”
The moderator, a well-spoken lawyer, offered another example. At the Palais de la Justice, a text was sent out saying that women could not wear pants. Police and officials took the opportunity to harass/attack fellow professionals. The explanation was that 'She was dressed in a bad way and found herself in an uncomfortable situation.'
I'm not sure if there was lobbying against this, or enough people recognised how incredibly stupid it is to try to avoid dressing in a way that might possibly incite sexual violence, but the text was eventually withdrawn.
I would have preferred if they'd highlighted that women generally do not rape or harass a man regardless of how tight his pants are or how many buttons he's left undone on his shirt. You could attribute this to the fact that women are more able to control themselves, or to the fact that women are prettier (let's be honest), but I prefer to believe it's because we are taught to be decent human beings. I can honestly tell you that, while I am very attracted to drummers and tall men in blue, green, or grey button-up shirts, I have never, ever felt the urge to corner them, grope them, or otherwise infringe on their personal autonomy. Is it too much to expect that your sons feel the same?
Then we split into groups to discuss the ways in which we could influence behaviour on an institutional, organisational, societal, and individual level. As always, the truth came out after a while of beating around the bush. For example, that organisations are in competition for resources and vulnerable populations. We delicately avoided the topic of corruption, and I'd cautiously begun to think that maybe I'd just had some bad experiences, that maybe my cynicism about this whole system was unwarranted.
Until a lawyer burst out, “How can you denounce it when you've taken some on the field, the office staff have taken some here and there...”
Everyone burst into laughter, looking at me askance, as though I might report them to the UN. Instead, I settled back for the real discussion.
Come on! Can the government pay for staff? Can we pay our own staff?
Yes. Yes, the government can and should pay for this work. Your organisations should pay for your own staff. That's what foreigners have been working towards for some time. What are you working for? Couldn't churches help with this?
Yeah, right – the church will never give us money! We're better off asking the government!
Do you understand the function of a church? Like, at all?! They are dividing desperately poor people, taking money from them, and assuring them a future where divisions and poverty don't exist. They are lying, and people are dying. Churches overseas send money for the hungry, the sick, the imprisoned, and your churches fundraise for a tile floor, CDs, and a nice car for the pastor. That is not a church.
I guess it's a good idea – put it down.
I looked forward to telling them they should have fewer children - only as many as they can support without having to resort to corruption - but later decided to keep this to myself. As our keynote speaker had said: baby steps.
But it's so hard when people look at leadership as a post to attain for themselves. I avoid leadership because it is giving yourself so fully for others. How can you profess to be a Christian and believe otherwise?
I had a wonderful conversation with the same lawyer who'd identified corruption as a major problem over lunch. She didn't want to become a magistrate for the same reason – it was a position where she would either lose her principles or her own self. We discussed some ideas about unions and a safety net for humanitarian aid workers who identified corruption. I'm not saying she will go on to change this part of the world, but she is intelligent and has integrity and I hope I affirmed these qualities. I hoped she would become a leader - one who would take responsibility, even suffer, for the good of others.
I am currently reading David Van Reybrouck's Congo – the Epic History of a People and one passage has stuck – where the author noted that even when he was visiting the Congo in the late 2000s, many locals still thought of Belgians as their family. More specifically, as uncles. This is interesting because most tribes tend to think that children belong to their maternal uncle. And this is the mentality I see now – a forlorn desire for someone, anyone, to take responsibility because the fundamental idea of leadership has been corrupted. Leaders have money and power; family loves, suffers – the two cannot be reconciled, and even the success of Christianity in this area has done very little for the growth of true leadership.
“She should wear a pagne – in order to not waste a day of teaching. She should respect the culture BUT
"Form of dress is not cause/justification of rape. People don't understand that if women wear pants, they may have time to cry for help, while with a pagne - one pull and they're already naked. Sorry to be so crude, but this is the reality. People need to learn, but slowly. If her dress stops them from learning, she should adapt to the society, but it does not justify rape, not even if she's naked.”
The moderator, a well-spoken lawyer, offered another example. At the Palais de la Justice, a text was sent out saying that women could not wear pants. Police and officials took the opportunity to harass/attack fellow professionals. The explanation was that 'She was dressed in a bad way and found herself in an uncomfortable situation.'
I'm not sure if there was lobbying against this, or enough people recognised how incredibly stupid it is to try to avoid dressing in a way that might possibly incite sexual violence, but the text was eventually withdrawn.
I would have preferred if they'd highlighted that women generally do not rape or harass a man regardless of how tight his pants are or how many buttons he's left undone on his shirt. You could attribute this to the fact that women are more able to control themselves, or to the fact that women are prettier (let's be honest), but I prefer to believe it's because we are taught to be decent human beings. I can honestly tell you that, while I am very attracted to drummers and tall men in blue, green, or grey button-up shirts, I have never, ever felt the urge to corner them, grope them, or otherwise infringe on their personal autonomy. Is it too much to expect that your sons feel the same?
Then we split into groups to discuss the ways in which we could influence behaviour on an institutional, organisational, societal, and individual level. As always, the truth came out after a while of beating around the bush. For example, that organisations are in competition for resources and vulnerable populations. We delicately avoided the topic of corruption, and I'd cautiously begun to think that maybe I'd just had some bad experiences, that maybe my cynicism about this whole system was unwarranted.
Until a lawyer burst out, “How can you denounce it when you've taken some on the field, the office staff have taken some here and there...”
Everyone burst into laughter, looking at me askance, as though I might report them to the UN. Instead, I settled back for the real discussion.
Come on! Can the government pay for staff? Can we pay our own staff?
Yes. Yes, the government can and should pay for this work. Your organisations should pay for your own staff. That's what foreigners have been working towards for some time. What are you working for? Couldn't churches help with this?
Yeah, right – the church will never give us money! We're better off asking the government!
Do you understand the function of a church? Like, at all?! They are dividing desperately poor people, taking money from them, and assuring them a future where divisions and poverty don't exist. They are lying, and people are dying. Churches overseas send money for the hungry, the sick, the imprisoned, and your churches fundraise for a tile floor, CDs, and a nice car for the pastor. That is not a church.
I guess it's a good idea – put it down.
I looked forward to telling them they should have fewer children - only as many as they can support without having to resort to corruption - but later decided to keep this to myself. As our keynote speaker had said: baby steps.
But it's so hard when people look at leadership as a post to attain for themselves. I avoid leadership because it is giving yourself so fully for others. How can you profess to be a Christian and believe otherwise?
I had a wonderful conversation with the same lawyer who'd identified corruption as a major problem over lunch. She didn't want to become a magistrate for the same reason – it was a position where she would either lose her principles or her own self. We discussed some ideas about unions and a safety net for humanitarian aid workers who identified corruption. I'm not saying she will go on to change this part of the world, but she is intelligent and has integrity and I hope I affirmed these qualities. I hoped she would become a leader - one who would take responsibility, even suffer, for the good of others.
I am currently reading David Van Reybrouck's Congo – the Epic History of a People and one passage has stuck – where the author noted that even when he was visiting the Congo in the late 2000s, many locals still thought of Belgians as their family. More specifically, as uncles. This is interesting because most tribes tend to think that children belong to their maternal uncle. And this is the mentality I see now – a forlorn desire for someone, anyone, to take responsibility because the fundamental idea of leadership has been corrupted. Leaders have money and power; family loves, suffers – the two cannot be reconciled, and even the success of Christianity in this area has done very little for the growth of true leadership.
No comments:
Post a Comment
At the risk of sounding desperate - PLEASE WRITE TO ME!